2004 Baseball

St. Paul Saints 5 Fargo-Moorhead Red Hots 4

Friday Night
Midway Stadium
With Jamie and Marc

As Dave Nelson made his CNN debut, the boys and I headed to St. Paul for the independent league Saints. On a night where temperatures in the area descended to the thirties, we were a little cold. Any chance of me wanting to move to the Twin Cities evaporated in the cold August air. We also were a little bored at first. We had terrible seats in the general admission down the line. We were freezing cold yet somehow couldn't see because of the bright sunshine in our eyes. And things just didn’t seem to be headed in the direction of the team’s motto: Fun is Good.

After an inning and a half, we decided to take off and head across the river to catch the rest of the Twins-Indians game. But a funny thing happened on the way out of the park. We were befriended by a Saints’ booster! We had just finished posing for a picture in front of one of the many murals at the ballpark when a guy came up to us and told us we had to get a picture by the pigs that were in front of the ballpark. The Saints mascot is a pig that they parade around on the field every few innings.

After taking a quck picture, our new friend Scott, was very excited to find out that we were from Brooklyn. He asked us if we wanted to see the real pig located in the bowels of the park. Um, of course! He took us down some stairs and explained to anyone who asked that we were from Brooklyn and needed to see the pig. He seemingly knew everyone at the park. The ballpark workers seemed completely non-plussed by three out-of-towners coming to pose for a picture with their pig mascot. The pig is in the lower right if you squint real hard.

Then he took us to some choice seats behind home. We enjoyed his company whenever he sat near us. However, more than half of the time he was walking around looking for trouble.

The on field entertainment was fun- Since it was 50’s- 60’s Night, The Fonz came onto the field to read birthdays. He apologized for Potsie being absent. They had a “real life” Japanese man dressed in a kimono sing karaoke. And in the middle of the 5th inning, four guys in drag dragged the infield dirt.

Some choice Scottisms:

My girlfriend works here. Half the time she wants to leave as soon as she gets off for the night which is great for me because I stick around.

Usually they have nuns giving massages in the stands. They have fingers of steel.

Ballgames are fun. Take off your tie or you’ll be asked to leave! (When asked about the no-tie rule.)

We usually tailgate and eat burgers, hot dogs, venison, you name it. We recently made T-shirts for ourselves. We call ourselves P.E.T.A.- People Eating Tasty Animals.

Everything at the park was great. There were murals painted everywhere. They had put up dozens of photocopied photos of 50’s and 60’s stars all around the stands and concourse. When a Saints player hit a homerun, many people got up and started waving dollar bills around. Immediately, ushers and Scott (of course) started collecting the money. What? Are they giving the player bonus money for his homer? That would be amazing. Instead, they were donating to a charity for research for some disease that one of the owner’s children has. Not as funny as our original idea, but nicer I guess. Still, these Independent League guys could probably use the extra money. And the best part was that you could get a haircut while watching the game. Balgavy took the Saints up on their offer.

The fans really appreciate the effort made by the people in charge and really were into the game the entire time. I guess the constant peanuts and candy thrown at them didn’t hurt either. It felt like one big family event. Even the “strike out a guy, win some food” promotion got the fans super riled up. In Brooklyn, it is next to impossible to win any food if the designated visiting player strikes out because the player has to strike out three times to win a prize. Here, he only has to strike out once to win a free sandwich at Arby’s. This got Marc very excited. But he wasn’t the only one. There were chants the entire game for the poor schmo to strike out every time he came up and many mentions of horsey sauce abounded.

So in the top of the 9th (Scott had already slinked off when his girlfriend told him it was time to leave) the Red Hots had the tying run on base with two outs for the Arby’s hitter. The fans went nuts screaming “Arby’s! Arby’s! Arby’s!” I don’t know if the fans were more excited for a Saints victory or a roast beef sandwich. Marc was cheering lustily after coming back to the seats after getting his haircut.

What could be better than this for Balgavy? First he gets a haircut while watching the game unfold in front of him and now this? The hitter kept fouling pitches off with 2 strikes. The Japanese singer (turns out he works for the Saints) paced on the walkway riling the crowd up. The obese man who had an “S” shaved into his head right before Balgavy got his haircut was beside himself. When the Arby’s hitter finally struck out, the fans went ballistic.

Arby’s, Arby’s, Arby’s!

Unfortunately, by the time we walked out, they had run out of coupons and we received a coupon at an ice cream place that was already closed for the evening. Oh well.

And if you need any more convincing that this place is amazing, how about this? They run a promotion every game where a fan gets harnessed onto the outfield fence near the fair pole. If he catches a ball during a game, he wins $10,000. Scott told us that once a guy had put his glove down because he was hot and then a ball was hit right at him. He tried to catch it barehanded but he couldn’t do it. That remains the closest anyone has come to winning the money.

St. Paul= baseball mecca.

Posted by dan at August 20, 2004 05:41 PM