7/2 Wednesday night, Pittsburgh

Reds 4 Pirates 3
In attendance- Jack Watson, Sujan, Jamie, Mike, Emily

A very mellow night. It was the first night of Baseball Trip ’03. The first trip to include a woman. These were heady days indeed. Sujan, Jamie, and I spent the day goofing off on the campus of Pitt. We wandered into classrooms to write on chalkboards, found the home plate from Forbes Field buried in a sea of chairs and desks, and posed for photos by the portion of the Forbes Field brick wall that is still standing.

Jack’s plan to drink a beer an inning was derailed after the 2^nd inning before making a late rebound in the 8^th. And for the record, Jack hates Craig Wilson but loves Jack Wilson. Something about the initials.

Jalapeno Hanna won the Pierogi Race and we all breathed a sigh of relief that Randall Simon was still on the disabled list.

On this evening, "Thank God I’m a Country Boy" did not make a reappearance in Pittsburgh.

Sadness In Gloomtown: Mike Williams took the 9^th protecting a 3-2 lead. He got two quick outs before giving up a bunch of hits allowing the Pirates to take a 4-3 lead. Jamie’s fantasy team "Shocker In Gloomtown" was denied another victory this evening. Both the Reds starting pitcher (Paul Wilson) and the Pirates starting pitcher (Kip Wells) pitched well for naught. This proved to be important because Jamie ended up losing a chance for first place on the very last day of the season because he needed one more win. Just think, if Williams could have saved this game, Jamie might have finally put his name on a trophy. Instead, he headed home the same way he has every year since 1989 sans first place.

7/3 Thursday night, Louisville Slugger Field

Richmond Braves 6 Louisville Bats 4
In attendance- Jamie, Sujan

I don’t remember anything about this game other than that we got to see Stubby Clapp pinch hit and that Ruben Mateo struck out to end the game with a chance to tie the score. Oh yeah, and Brandon Larson made a key error in the 7^th which led to three big Richmond runs.

The people of Louisville know they have a gem of a park and the game was sold out. We felt lucky to be able to buy standing room only tickets. There is an amazing view of water and bridges right behind the outfield wall. The carousel, the ample grass areas, and dozens of picnic tables liberally sprinkled throughout the park didn’t hurt either.

But what did hurt was the sheer rudeness and belligerence of the fans in the park. What the hell was the problem with these people? Had they never seen Jews, Koreans, or cuddly Paquettes before? All night we were the victims of dirty looks and non- Southern hospitality.

Example 1- The kid in front of me dropped his glove. I picked it up and politely inquired if the glove belonged to him. His dad turned around, grabbed the glove, and retorted, "Yeah, it’s his." No eye contact, no thank you.

Example 2- In the 6^th inning, we have found ourselves some seats in the bleachers. A party of ten jackasses arrive at the game and kicked us out with a look of seething hatred at the Northerners in their midst.

And when the venom wasn’t directed at us, we happened to find ourselves near it anyway. In the 9^th inning the fans began jockeying for position before the fireworks commence. And an argument ensued between two angry sixty year-old men.

Earlier in the inning we were entertained by an eight year-old kid behind us as he gave details to his family about Terminator 2. In the midst of that discussion, his mom proclaimed at one point, "I haven’t shaved my pits today."

Fuck the South.

7/4 Friday night, Memphis

The South Vindicates Itself

Memphis Redbirds 7 New Orleans Zephyrs 6
In attendance- Eric, Amie, Sujan, Jamie- others in the crew behind us

Two straight years in Memphis for the 4^th of July. I really do know how to treat myself right. Last summer it was with Paquette the Younger and this time I found myself in the Dirty Dirty with Paquette the Elder. During the National Anthem, Jamie held his little giveaway American flag and wondered if he had to look at the big flag in centerfield like everybody else or could he just salute the miniature one in his lap.

The game was a see-saw battle back and forth. The Redbirds took a 6-4 lead into the 9^th but the Zephyrs tied it with two runs in the top of the inning. No one wanted extra innings, they wanted fireworks. Luckily for the hometown fans, the game did not make it to extras. A game winning homer in the bottom of the 9^th cleared the way for fireworks set to Lee Greenwood.

This was also a night that Jamie won the first ever Big League Chewathon. Sujan, Jamie, Eric, and I all took a huge wad of Big League Chew at the beginning of the game. The challenge- who could keep the gum in his/ her mouth the longest? I couldn’t make it past the first inning. Sujan dropped out early too. Who was it going to be? The eyebrowless one or Plumley? The suspense lasted a few innings and a number of grimaces on both parties’ faces. Eventually, Plumley gave in and Jamie was crowned Big League Chew king. However, to give credit where credit is due, I think Eric took a larger amount in the first place.

Eric was on a roll. Some choice nuggets:

On New York City:

Upon finding out Jamie had not chosen his brother to be his best man at his wedding:

He also almost had Jamie convinced that Bob Pollard had appeared on an episode of "Punk’d" before Amie stepped in.

I was happy to find out that Jon Nunnally was the Redbird who held the coveted title of "Redbird Who Gets the Most Tail ’03."

We also had the pleasure of spending some more quality time with Eric’s friends T-Bone (the cherubic originator of the phrase "That’s how we do it down here in the Dirty Dirty") and Zubby, T-Bone’s pal from Boise. A man who came to Eric’s town already bestowed with a top notch nickname. Do you realize how much pressure that takes off of Eric to not have to come up with a nickname for him?

So what can I say about Zubby? I really don’t know where to begin. He’s one of those characters that have to be seen to be believed. Mere words can not truly capture the pure Zubbyness of the entire situation. He left his teaching job in Boise and was living in Memphis in a Winnebago. More importantly, Eric let us know that he loves to be ladled, whatever the hell that means. He kind of reminds me of a burned out hippie frat boy with big curly hair, always tucked neatly under his backwards leaning baseball cap. On this night he wore gigantic pants, a polo shirt, and a giant t-shirt underneath.

During a break in the 8^th inning, the PA played "Eye of the Tiger." Zubby bounded down from his perch a few rows behind us and this exchange followed.

After the game, we headed to a party to set off some amazing fireworks for hours. Zubby found the prettiest girls (that’s plural) to help him shoot off his 42 dollar purchase of "The Greatest Show On Earth." Later, he left the party with a different woman on each arm.

In 2003, I didn’t find a cure for cancer, I didn’t write the great American novel, and I didn’t solve the problem of world hunger. But, I might have to say that my biggest regret of the year is that I somehow left Memphis without a picture of Sir Zubby.

During the party, Sujan was quite concerned at the combination of firepower and alcohol. Plumley looked at her, rolled his eyes, and stated, "Come on Seoul Train, loosen up, it’s the South."

7/5 Saturday night Cincinnati

Mets 6 Reds 2
In attendance- Sujan, Jamie

How to top the experience in Memphis? Um, not possible in Cincinnati. It is a sad statement on the city that you have to go across the river to Kentucky to find a good time. The new ballpark in Cincinnati is fine enough, but nothing monumental. The whole structure seems awfully lazy in every aspect of its design. And what is up with the missing section of the upper deck that made me feel like the ballpark was not completely built yet?

Plus, the silly steam pipes to make people feel like they were perhaps travelling down the Mississippi with Huck Finn, just over the outfield wall is a lame attempt to create a unique Cincinnati landmark at the game a la the warehouse in Baltimore or the bay in San Francisco. Which begs the question, why mess with a view that is already so impressive. I can’t get enough of ballparks with a view of water and bridges. And right over the right field wall is a real spectacle. The suspension bridge built in 1866 that the Brooklyn Bridge was modeled after and is a spitting image of the more famous one albeit smaller. How come I had never heard about this bridge?

We received a crappy replica of the new ballpark as we entered the game. Danny Graves pitched six no-hit innings before imploding in the 7^th. Other than that, the most exciting thing about this game was the 6 year-old behind us who kept greeting us with "Hi, my name is Max" before performing an amazing impersonation of the Hulk.

Between Inning Game Innovation: If the person answers a trivia question correctly, your entire row gets a prize. However, if the person answers it incorrectly, the whole row behind the contestant gets the prize. Could you imagine how that would play out in Philadelphia or New York?

7/ 6 Sunday afternoon, Cincinnati

Mets 7 Reds 5
In attendance- Sujan, Jamie

Wow, it was hot in Cincinnat’a on this day. So hot that Ken Griffey decided to delay his inevitable season ending injury one more day by sitting this one out because he was "dehydrated."

It was stifling. It was miserable. The Mets found themselves in a 5-2 hole after 7 innings. But, they scored 3 in the 8^th to tie it. In the 9^th, Tony Clark’s two run homer gave the Mets the lead. The Mets held on for the victory and they had their first three game sweep of the year. And Jamie’s fantasy team was screwed yet again when his pitcher Paul Wilson couldn’t hold the 8^th inning lead. Just another ingredient in the recipe for Gloomtown disaster.

Sujan talked about ice all day. Jamie and I reminisced about Rich and his ice capades in Kansas City in 2001. We tried to do Jack’s beer an inning plan from a few days prior, but with water. Much like Jack in his endeavor, we failed.

After the game, we drove around listening to sports radio fans rip the faltering Reds. Our favorite was the fan who kept ranting and raving about how manager Bob Boone (he kept referring to him as Bob Buffoon) should be fired. He didn’t have to wait long. Then we headed to Kentucky for beer garden action. Cincinnati couldn’t be any lamer.

7/7 Monday night July 7, Wrigley Field

Cubs 6 Marlins 3
In attendance- Scott, Sujan, and Jamie

This was a last minute decision to head to Chicago. It is hard to pass up a chance to go to Wrigley when the opportunity presents itself. We missed out on seeing Dontrelle Willis vs. Kerry Wood by one day. Josh Beckett vs. Matt Clement would have to do.

Upon arriving in Chicago, we met up with Sujan’s friend Scott and headed to the park. Unfortunately, the game was sold out so we had to depend on buying tickets from a scalper. A few annoying minutes later, we headed to the bleachers. This was our first time ever sitting in the bleachers and we were excited. We shouldn’t have been. I guess that everything good and pure about them has been slowly drained over the years. I should have known better. Any time a team charges as much for a bleacher ticket as it does for a good seat between the bases should be a warning sign.

The Cubs were playing well despite the shenanigans of their manager. He had just decided not to pick Dontrelle to the All-Star game because he had never seen him pitch and had also recently gotten himself into hot water talking about how black players are better equipped to play in the sun because they don’t sweat. The Marlins were playing well, but still were not anywhere close to being thought of as a real contender. I never would have thought on this July night that I was watching the two teams that would eventually make it to the NLCS.

Future World Series stud Beckett didn’t pitch well on this evening. Clement pitched well and his two run double in the 4^th broke the deadlock.

But the real story of the game was the obnoxious fans. Sujan described the night in her livejournal:

Sujan on two of the Bleacher characters:

At one point, Sujan went to the restroom. When she came back, she realized that the drunk woman behind her had spilled beer all over her seat. This exchange followed:

No more bleachers at Wrigley ever again.

After the game, we piled into the car and headed for Cleveland. On the way we stopped at a scary rest area that seemed to be closed for the night, but yet was opened. The doors were opened, there were zombie like rest area workers hanging out by the darkened video games, and flickering lights. Jamie describes the scene:

7/8 Tuesday night Jacobs Field, Cleveland

Indians 4 Yankees 0
In attendance- Sujan, Jamie

The last night of Baseball Trip ’03 found us in Cleveland. During the day, we ventured into the disappointing Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I guess, I shouldn’t say it was disappointing since I had a feeling it would suck. And it did. But, at least Sujan worked her magic and scored us free tix.

Upon finding parking in a garage, we were pleased to be given free peanuts for our patronage from the parking lot attendant. Nice start.

But the rain that soon started to fall put a damper on the evening. Luckily, it didn’t last long and the 7:05 start time looked like it would be delayed for barely an hour. When the grounds crew started to take off the tarp, I predicted that the game would start around 8:00. Jamie scoffed at my prediction and said that the game would start closer to 8:15. Of course, a bet ensued. A beverage on the drive home was at stake. The game started at 8:03 and I’m still waiting for my beverage, Paquette! Geez, does everything have to be a competition with that guy?

The game was mellow and enjoyable. Except for the obnoxious 6 year-old kid behind us who had a weird accent- Cleveland mixed with a lisp? He kept crying out "Hey Batter" and then somehow always rhyming it with another word, ladder, sadder, etc. Lame. But the adults with him thought he was endearing. We decided to move seats.

On our way to another section, we were stopped by an usher. Uh-oh. A repeat of the Pittsburgh usher from last year who wouldn’t let us move because the ubiquitous "they" were watching. No! He just wanted to ask if we were having a good time. We breathed a collective sigh of relief and answered in the affirmative. He replied with a hearty "Super!"

Indians pitcher Billy Traber pitched a game for the ages. He faced one batter over the minimum and breezed through the game. In fact, he had John Flaherty on a 1-2 count in the 3^rd and shook off his catcher. Flahertly hit a single and that was the only base runner. I don’t know if I’ll ever see another game in person that was so close to a perfect game.

Of course, anytime you go see the Yankees, they bring their usual coterie of obnoxious fans. Even in Cleveland, there was no escape. Rather than applaud a great pitching performance, it just wouldn’t fit into their world view that a non Yankee was playing well. In the 9^th, they just kept repeating over and over again, "Yeah, have fun on your couches in October!" Every strike in the 9^th brought sarcastic cheers from the bunch. I suppose only Yankees can pitch gems. If it was the thug Clemens (a true Yankee? I love how quickly the fans have turned on him this offseason), the pouty Mussina (0 fer 3 in championships since signing him), Pettitte, or the skanky Wells, you all would love it. But noooooo, you can’t just give credit where credit is due ever!!! Assholes!!!! I hate you all!!

After the brisk 2 hour, 11 minute game we headed back to the car happy and geared up for an all night trip back to NYC so Jamie could put in a few hours at the office the next day.

7/13 Sunday afternoon July 13, Shea

Mets 4 Phillies 3
In attendance- Sujan, Florian, Pam, Louisa

We went to this game with Louisa, a recently graduated 3^rd grader, and her parents. It was only the second game Florian had been to and it was Louisa’s first game.

It was fun explaining to them why everyone was booing Armando Benitez, Tom Glavine, and Roger Cedeno. I told them that Benitez was not going to be on the Mets much longer and was made to feel like a genius when I saw Florian a week later after Benitez had been traded. He said that when he heard the news, he felt like he has been let in on a secret the week before. Impressing a non baseball fan with my knowledge of the obvious was not hard to do.

Louisa really loves playing softball and you could see in her eyes that she enjoyed learning the minutiate of the game. However, she kept insisting she is a Yankees fan which needs to be changed. She loved Pat Burrell’s nickname "Pat the Bat." Sujan whispered to me that if Louisa were a member of Stereolab that her nickname would be "Louisa the Farfisa."

With a 3-2 lead in the 9^th, Mr. Benitez, of course, blew it. And the boos cascaded.

In the bottom of the 9^th, Roger Cedeno reached first with an out. Jose Reyes drove a ball into the gap. However, Cedeno lost the ball and didn’t know if it had been caught or not. So he stood there at second base stupefied. Come on, Roger, run! Or at least look at the midget third base coach to see what you should do. Reyes was running out of the box and almost passed Cedeno before hitting the brakes.

The following hitter walked so it set up a bases loaded situation for Jason Phillips. Louisa asked me if Benitez would come out to pitch the 10^th if the game went extra innings. When I told her no, she breathed a sigh of relief. I told her that she was thinking like a true Mets fan. She calmly reminded me that she was a Yankees fan. Man, this girl would make Decoursy proud. Phillips followed with a game-winning hit and we all went home happy. Both Phillips and Reyes had three hits in the game.

Most irritating sign at the game: A large banner was hung up in the outfield that stated, "We thought the Vet was bad." Excuse me?

7/24 Thursday afternoon, Yankee Stadium

Orioles 5 Yankees 3
In attendance- Alex B.

As Alex stated during the game, having summers off is worth twenty grand. As the rest of the working world slaved away on this Thursday afternoon, two third grade teachers enjoyed their day at the ballpark. Even as Alex pointed out, a pretty crappy ballpark.

On what I hoped would be the last time I saw Roger Clemens pitch in person, he got rocked. On what I thought might be the last time I saw Sir Sidney Ponson as an Oriole, he pitched well.

I was pumped up with hatred. In the top of the 1^st, Melvin Mora tried to bunt. Clemens was obviously perturbed that Mora would try to bunt for a hit in the 1^st while he still had his perfect game going. The very next pitch, Clemens drilled Mora.

Next hitter- Jeff Conine. The first pitch he saw, Conine drilled for a homerun. I couldn’t contain myself. I jumped to my feet, pointed at Clemens from my right field upper deck perch and screamed, "Yeah! Yeah! Shows you, you damn thug!" I surprised even myself. I’m usually much more reserved than that at games. It was weird because right after that, many of the Yankee fans in our section inexplicably moved. Did I scare them off? Either that or they were afraid of the giant Brit I was with.

In the bottom of the 1^st- Ponson responded by drilling Giambi in the back and I was happy.

In the 3^rd an interesting philosophical question emerged: Who do I hate more - Roger Clemens or Derek Jeter?

In the 4^th, Clemens was knocked out of the game. The game slowed to a snail’s pace and I was reminded of the infamous "Nap" game at Memorial Stadium in 1989 when Clemens got knocked out of a June game in the second inning. Rob and I ended up spreading out on the bleacher style seats in the upper deck behind home plate and taking naps during the never ending inning.

In the 9^th, after Soriano popped out on Jorge Julio’s first pitch, one of the fans behind us uttered, "I hope they enjoyed their 7^th game of the World Series." Why can’t Yankee fans ever tip their cap to the other team? It’s always got to be a belittling kind of thing with them. All of them are like that! Young, old. Jerks.

7/26 Saturday night, Olympic Stadium, Montreal

Braves 15 Expos 4
In attendance- Jim, Stone Groove, Sujan

The night before I proposed to my honey, we were all treated to a big crapfest of a game sandwiched between two stellar come from behind Expos victories the day before and day after.

Sujan and I had planned on going to Montreal the night before heading to Cooperstown for Eddie Murray’s Hall of Fame induction. My parents just happened to be in Montreal as part of their "Old People Travel Canada By Bus" vacation and Jim was in Montreal for…um… you’ll have to ask him.

Gary Sheffield went 3 for 4 with a homer and the game was never close. Still, Olympic Stadium is a fun place for a game and I still think that Montreal can support a team

Sujan and I debated if should we come back the following weekend for Youppi Bobblehead giveaway night and Gary Carter night. We decided no since we’d get enough Gary Carter the next day in Cooperstown.

I brought a pen and paper to the game to take some notes. I wrote, "Dad is like a kid in a candy store at game. Fascinated. Taking it all in. Full of questions and comments." He looked at me and says, "I know what you’re going to write." He then proceeded to tell me almost exactly what I had just written.

There were way too many Braves fans at this game. Go back South, you fuckers.

After the game, we headed back to my parents’ hotel the Hilton, picked up my mom, and hung out at the bar. Earlier in the day, the hotel was home to the Gay/Lesbian Line Dancing competition so as we chatted, we enjoyed the sight of a lot of cowboy hats, boots, rhinestones, glitter, and also overheard a little bit of line dancer back stabbing.

The next day, after Sujan cried during each of the four speeches, I made her cry again by proposing. As of this writing, the answer is still yes.

7/30 Wednesday night, Centennial Field- Burlington, VT

Vermont Expos 4 Oneonta Tigers 2
In attendance- Jeremy and Shawn

Centennial Field is the oldest park in minors or so I was told. We all were lacking in energy but the game was fun. We sat under a large grandstand behind home plate and the park definitely felt run down and old. The field was super far away from the seats and it felt very odd. It made the ballpark in Oakland feel like it has no foul territory.

For the life of me, I don’t remember what we talked about. Perhaps we talked about our day driving around Vermont, or perhaps how cute Sebastian looked the day before eating his baby sized ice cream cone, or maybe the 14 year-old kid we saw walking around Burlington with the shirt that read "The Man" with an arrow pointing up and "The Legend" with an arrow pointing down. The one thing I know we definitely talked about because it seems to always come up when Jeremy is around- Mandy Patinkin singing indie rock hits. Ah, the memories.

In between innings, they had one event I had never seen- two fans with large inflatable alligators fought each other.

At the end of the game, they had teenage girls walk around with a mascot called "The Trash Monster" to collect trash.

As we left the park, we were sad to see a sign that if we could come to the game two days later we would have been able to get 25 cent haircuts at the ballpark.

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