15. Planet of the Apes: Classic franchise, inventive Director with vision and a healthy track record equal…disaster. The plot was laughable and the worst performance by a Wahlberg since the Marky Mark days. I recently watched part of the original and found the ape costumes preferable to Tim Roth in a chimp suit. This should never have been remade. It would be cool if Burton had chosen to do another story within the Ape world (after all there were at least 6 movies) why not just make the next sequel. Remakes are gay.

14. Heartbreakers: If not for the effrontery that was the previous entry this would have been at the bottom of my list. Utter garbage. See #4 for an example of Gene Hackman doing the same character correct. Not even the great Jason Lee can save this from the taint of Jennifer Love Hewitt. So bad it angered me.

13. Josie and the Pussycats: An insult on every level. Horribly cast, even Eugene Levy, Paul Rueben's and Parker Posey suck in this stink bomb. I was hoping for campy fun, but I couldn't even finish this stinker. It was supposed to be commenting on corporate messages in pop culture yet every scene; I mean EVERY scene was product placement. It was nauseating.

12. Saving Silverman: A brutal waste of the brilliant Steve Zahn and Jack Black. One of the most misogynistic movies I have ever seen. Sucked.

11. Memento: Hipsters be damned this movie was stupid. It was a good idea for a Twilight Zone (the 80's remake, not the classic Sterling 50's episodes) stretched into a feature. I was bored with the gimmick quick. A waste of Joey Pants.

10. Serendipity: I love John Cusak. In my fantasies I am John Cusak. In reality I am a chubbier Jeremy Piven and that's ok. Piven and Molly Shannon steal every scene there in and add that to an underused Eugene Levy you have all the good parts. Cusak is dull and bored, nothing like his performance in High Fidelity. Kate Beckinasal or whoever, pretty face and that's it. The story line relies heavily on a coincidence/fate premise that never works. I love a good romantic comedy but this wasn't one of em.

9. Blow: This wasn't horrible. Penelope Cruz is beyond bad however and her shrill whining is maddening. Ray Liotta is the bomb and he kicks ass throughout. Also Paul Rueben's is funny as a gay dealer/scenester. Gets pretty long and the buzz is short and leaves you jittery rather than euphoric. Most Hip Hop videos are better

8. Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone: I read fantasy novel obsessively (guess now what #1 will be..) but have never touched the Potter kid. People tell me how I should read it blah blah blah, but would a mystery fan read Encyclopedia Brown?? Rowlings' bespectled nerd just doesn't compete with David Eddings Belgarion and Robert Jordan's Rand as badass young wizards in my spell book. But I was excited for the movie. I saw it with my GF's brothers family and her 10 year old nephew, a budding swords & sorcery geek, summed it up best "It wasn't as good as the books, not enough action, It was OK"…nuff said.

7. Shrek: This is where the list gets into movies I like. Shrek was fun, funny and smart. It also did an excellent job of parodying a fairy tail and becoming one as well. I love Mike Myers and he was brilliant. Eddie Murphy is best when you don't have to see him. It also was short which is becoming a blessing with every bloated movie released. My fav of this new style computer animation.

6. Legally Blonde: How hot is Reese Witherspoon? When I can block out the whole Ryan Philippe thing, she is almost perfect. This could have easily sucked and the fact that it didn't says a lot. The screenwriter was a fellow James Madison Duke so that bumped it high on the list, but it held its own with good performances and jokes. It was summer I was with my baby, we had fun at this movie isn't all that matters?

5. Waking Life: I am a huge Richard Linklater fan and this was a great return to form. His last few movies were good but started to be co-opted by the Hollywood mentality, but here he bust loose with an experimental conversation movie about philosophy. Yes it was like an animated Slacker but that was half its charm. One aspiring screenwriter friend in Santa Monica said if he had seen it in 1992 he would have had an orgasm. It was visibly intoxicating and intellectually stimulating. Some might call it pretentious and it had its moments, but not anymore than your fav art house flick.

4. The Royal Tennenbaums: I was amped for this movie for two years and it was no letdown. Brilliance really, a great American comedy. Very literary and very New York. Still awaiting an opportunity to see it again to really let it sink in. A hair beneath Rushmore but negligibly so. The ensemble cast was excellent and only the under used bill Murray came off looking flat. The Anderson/Wilson writing team is the modern equivalent of Woody Allen and Neal Simon.

3. Ghostworld: One of the best movies of the last 5 years. I was so utterly caught up in this movie that I day dreamed about it for days afterward and bought the graphic novel immediately. I am salivating over the DVD release. Captures what it feels like to be smarter than your peers to a tee. I saw so much of myself in many of the characters it scared me. I thought CA looked great in the movie and classic lines abound. The director has made only 2 movies this and Crumb. What a track record. I also love the Terri Garr cameo, I miss her.

2. Together: This movie has more heart than a years worth of Hollywood melodramas. I hate foreign films but this movie made rethink my whole position on the matter (something that classics like Life is Beautiful failed to do). I saw it with pals just after Sept 11th and it resonated a humanity that made it art rather than a movie. The characters, the writing the set, the jokes, the tears were all real and honest. When the credits rolled I want to stand up and cheer. I can't recommend this movie more, the best movie about the meaning of family since the Ice Storm. I guess Europeans occasionally get it right.

1. Lord of the Rings: I have to say that this movie could have been half as good and it would have gotten the #1 slot. But it was brilliant. The key was Peter Jackson. The action was intense, the characters were developed, and the text was honored. This was a massive undertaking and it exceeded many of its goals and expectations. I was in tears the last hour of the movie. New Zealand was the perfect Middle Earth and the casting was dead on. My father called it a "religious experience" It also gave me a new set of action figures to collect and they are boss! Plain and simple this is movie magic. My favorite line was when Sauramon told Gandalf "You have been smoking to much of that halfling leaf Gandalf, it's rotting your brain" I saw it twice and it was better the second time. Call me geek but this was more than a movie. Next December can not come fast enough.