I found myself seeing a lot of movies at the end of the year just so my list would be "complete." As it turned out, I wound up seeing a bunch of mediocre movies that I probably shouldn't have bothered with, so then I skipped a few like "Monster" and "The Barbarian Invasions." In general, I found this year's crop to be far below the quality of the past few years; oh well.
My movie moment of the year came during "Something's Gotta Give," which I saw with my brother and future sister-in-law. We were the only people under 50 in the sold-out theater, and my brother was fighting a nasty cold. As it turned out, he just happened to have to blow his nose during all of the perfectly choreographed sappy moments in the movie, which Kelley and I thought was hysterical - far funnier than the movie itself, especially since it happened three or four times. The haiku:
54 - IDENTITY
Plot? Suspense? Intrigue?
Utterly ridiculous
Worst I saw this year
53 - THE MATRIX RELOADED
An absolute mess
Except for the
highway chase
It was just plain
dull
52 - THE GOOD THIEF
Bad trailer, worse
film
Nolte seemed oblivious
But nice scenery
51 - THE BATTLE OF
SHAKER HEIGHTS
Yeah, I did see
it
But at least I
didn't pay
TV was better
50 - THIRTEEN
Underdeveloped
And there's no
way they're thirteen
I didn't buy it
49 - THE COOLER
Vegas! Gambling!
Girls!
Yet this was so
damn boring
A disappointment
48 - NORTHFORK
Really good looking
But hollow on the
inside
(Insert metaphor)
47 - INTOLERABLE CRUELTY
Kept wanting to laugh
And then looking
at my watch
This ain't "Hudsucker"
46 - STEP INTO LIQUID
Beautiful film but
More like an infomercial
I preferred "Blue
Crush"
45 - MYSTIC RIVER
What's the fuss about?
Totally predictable
And overacted
44 - LOVE ACTUALLY
So, so syrupy
I needed to brush
my teeth
That song: horrible
43 - XX/XY
I have a feeling
I'm the only person
who
Paid to see this
one
42 - OWNING MAHONEY
Can we write a law
That will ban movie
titles
From starting with "-ing"s?
41 - SOMETHING'S
GOTTA GIVE
A few laughs throughout
And the cast was
fun to watch
But $10.25?
40 - THE COMPANY
After seeing this
I remembered why
I don't
Go to the ballet
39 - LAWLESS HEART
I think I liked it
But obviously not
much
Since I can't recall
38 - BUS 174
I kept wanting more:
Action, drama,
excitement
It was kind of
dull
37 - THE DANCER UPSTAIRS
All told: hit or miss
Javier Bardem:
badass
The dancer: just
fair
36 - SWIMMING POOL
Ludivine is hot
There's no question
about it
The ending sucked
though
35 - THE SCHOOL
OF ROCK
More overrated
Than "Mystic River?"
Jack Black's
Been better elsewhere
34 - FINDING NEMO
It ain't "Toy Story"
Or "The Triplets
of Belleville"
Ellen was funny
33 - GIRL WITH A PEARL
EARRING
Scarlett: fantastic;
Lighting: exquisite;
Raw meat:
Shown in great
detail
32 - BIG FISH
Good performances
Kind of manipulative
I had hoped for
more
31 - PIRATES OF THE
CARIBBEAN
Depp's scenes were awesome
But like Day-Lewis
last year
The rest of it
paled
30 - STUCK ON YOU
More sentimental
Than hysterical
yet still
Good for a few
laughs
29 - ELF
Great casting throughout
Will Ferrell is
fantastic
Good year for Zooey
28 - THE FOG OF WAR
I have to admit
I fell asleep during
this
So that's a factor
27 - MASTER AND COMMANDER
Like a few others
Cutting twenty
minutes out
Would have improved
it
26 - HOUSE OF SAND
AND FOG
Kingsley amazing
Wife may surprise
with Oscar
Horribly sad end
25 - MAN ON THE TRAIN
"Shawshank" for the French
I'm not sure why
this wasn't
More successful
here
24 - AMERICAN SPLENDOR
I liked the fiction
Better than the
real Harvey
Great performances
23 - OLD SCHOOL
Ranked higher than "Elf"
Only because the
ending
Was slightly less
lame
22 - KILL BILL VOL.
I
Style over substance
Not as funny as
I'd hoped
Editing would help
21 - IN AMERICA
Worst trailer this year
(It didn't match
the movie)
Awesome child actors
20 - CAPTURING THE
FRIEDMANS
Freidman's home movies
Added so much depth
to this
Haunting, troubling
film
19 - TO BE AND TO HAVE
Eavesdropping at school
A good year for
films with kids
Last scene was
killer
18 - L'AUBERGE
ESPANOL
Better than "Real
World"
Audrey is so, so,
so cute
This was slight
but fun
17 - MY ARCHITECT
Another instance
Of bad trailer,
good movie
Hey, man: cool
buildings
16 - A MIGHTY WIND
Not quite "Best in Show"
And certainly not
"Guffman"
Had its moments
though
15 - THE TRIPLETS OF
BELLEVILLE
Funny and unique
Liked that the
dialogue was
Used minimally
14 - 21 GRAMS
Naomi Watts: wow
Penn and Del Toro:
solid
Poorly marketed
13 - COLD MOUNTAIN
My mom was right on:
Nicole's all dressed
up by chance
The day he comes
back?
12 - LORD OF THE RINGS:
THE RETURN OF THE KING
Blows "Star Wars" away
But those multiple
endings
Really bothered
me
11 - BAD SANTA
Ridiculous, yes
But I laughed out
loud often
Thurman Murman?
Nice.
10 - LOST IN LA MANCHA
I am a sucker
For films about
making films
Fascinating mess
9 - ELEPHANT
Very effective
I knew what was
coming but
It was still shocking
8 - THE STATION AGENT
Could have been silly
Could have been
patronizing
Yet wasn't either
7 - GERRY
Awesome scenery
Amazingly photographed
Van Sant: two for
two
6 - RAISING
VICTOR VARGAS
Grandmother was great;
Victor's "Lower
East Side" shirt
Was even better
5 - THE SECRET LIVES
OF DENTISTS
Funny and moving
Scott and Davis
are perfect
Loved the vomit
scenes
4 - ALL THE REAL GIRLS
Dan will disagree
But I preferred
this over
Green's "George
Washington"
3 - CITY OF GOD
Unique and intense
Documentary feel
plus
Powerful story
2 - LOST IN TRANSLATION
High expectations
Fulfilled; left
in a good mood
Both times I saw
it
1 - SPELLBOUND
This one had it all:
Drama, tension,
comedy
Edge-of-my-seat fun
2003
LISTS
dan
sujan
sarah f.
mitch
marc
jeremy
jim
amy r.
matt b.
shawn
