Another banner year for film and another year for a single digit tally. I cannot pick a favorite for there are too many factors influencing my decisions this year so instead I present to you the nine films I did see in random order along with the muse each most perfectly represents.
Calliope, The Fair Voiced. Domain - Epic Poetry
What movie was more epic this year than Return of the King? Basically two hours of struggle and warfare followed by an hour of peace that felt like an eternity and not just because of the numerous false endings. Yes, I am a nerd and sorely missed the Reclaiming of the Shire but my ass and bladder thanks Mr. Jackson for saving what would surely have been another 45 minutes of film for the extended edition.
Clio, The Proclaimer. Domain - History
As Rick James declared on a recent episode of Chappelle's Show, "Cocaine is a crazy drug." Kind of like a Brazilian Lord of the Flies, City of God shows how children and adults are no different when jockeying for power and struggling to survive. Of the nine films I saw this past year, none had a more exciting, engrossing or captivating story than City of God.
Erato, The Lovely. Domain - Love Poetry
Love Poetry is Erato's specialty as well as Will Ferrell's. Like Adam Sandler's countless man-children but without the frat boy anger or reliance on Rob Schneider, Will Ferrell's wide eyed innocence won me over helping me ignore the horrible child actor and sticky sweet gooeyness that almost sunk this thing. After The Good Girl, Zooey Deschanel had me intrigued and after seeing Elf I can honestly proclaim my undying love for her, perhaps in a song. Erato! Give me a C, a bouncy C!
Euterpe, The Giver of Pleasure. Domain - Music
A distorted sort of pleasure, sure, but pleasure nonetheless. 28 Days Later shocked and frightened me and lingered far longer than any other film this year. All I knew was it was a "zombie film" but that did little to prepare me for the genuine horror and creepiness throughout. The soundtrack was absolutely perfect. I was wondering when someone would get around to using Godpeed You Black Emporer's music in a film and 28 Days Later used it to accent the post apocalyptic isolation seeping through every pore. This film proved that while there's nothing funnier than a monkey there's nothing scarier than an evil monkey ripping the flesh of your face.
Melpomene, The Songstress. Domain - Tragedy
Melpomene represents A Mighty Wind, whose music I truly enjoyed even though, tragically, it failed to provide many laffs. They really nailed the down home corniness of old timey folk music and the polished sheen of insincere folk revivalism but is that all that's necessary for a laugh? Is the concept of folk music funny enough by itself that you don't need any jokes? If you have a bald guy with a silly beard and a really deep voice is that enough to brand yourself a comedy? Was that "Wha'happen!?!" thing really funny or just really annoying? How much more mugging can Eugene Levy do before his face freezes that way? And that voice! It was so grating that it kept me from feeling any sort of pity for his character. And therein lies the problem. If this was a comedy, shouldn't it have had more jokes? Or was this really trying to capture the mood of melancholy and nostalgia these reunion shows produce? It felt very thin...thin on plot, thin on humor and thin on interest. Not quite the tragedy that is Melpomene's domain but considering Christopher Guest's track record, A Mighty Wind is a tremendous dip in quality.
Polyhymnia, She of Many Hymns. Domain - Sacred Poetry
Who was your favorite of the spelling bee finalists? The determined and joyless guy who practiced up to 4000 words a day? The shy girl who seemed at least 10 times more intelligent than both parents combined? Or was it the crowd favorite, Mr. Musical Robot? Take an interesting subject and 8 fascinating families and let the cameras role. Simple, hilarious and brilliant. (Spellbound)
Terpsichore, The Whirler. Domain - Dancing
Remember how bad the Matrix: Reloaded was? Remember how long and pretentious it was? Although I hated everything about this movie I have to say, the worst part of it all was that ridiculous dance frenzy/sci-fi orgy that went on far longer than was decent. Even on the brink of the ultimate battle between good and evil people still want shake their groove thangs. Like an episode of Club MTV filmed in the land of the Morlocks.
Thalia, The Flourishing. Domain - Comedy
Two Will Ferrell movies in one year and I will not complain. Both made me laugh, both lost steam towards the end and both featured white haired old men wrestling topless nubiles. At least, I think they both did. I took a bathroom break during Elf. Mr. Ferrell plays another man suspended in adolescence in Old School but Frank the Tank is a much more pathetic character than Buddy the Elf. Vince Vaughn nearly dominated this film and I suspect he just might save Starsky and Hutch from shitsville although it's too soon to judge.
Urania, The Heavenly. Domain - Astronomy
Winged Migration was the only movie I watched this year with my wife and child and it nearly put us all to sleep. Lots of quiet shots of birds soaring and landing and swimming and eating and flying and being shot and getting eaten by crabs. Gorgeous and exhilarating but a bit repetitive but then again, the life of a bird can't measure up to the life of an action hero and I shouldn't expect it to.
2003
LISTS
dan
sujan
sarah f.
mitch
marc
jeremy
jim
amy r.
matt b.
shawn
