In 2001 I saw an appallingly low number of films. I tripled that number this year thanks to my part time job at the local movie house. In addition to all the free Barq’s and popcorn I could consume, the job allowed me to see any film that came there for free. They seem to get as nice balance of good films and crap and both sides are nicely represented by my list. 2002 was a year of big disappointments but I managed to sneak in a few big budget masterpieces as well. I can’t wait until next December.
25. Signs – This movie was contaminated. Signs was the absolute biggest piece of shit all year, probably all decade. It was bad enough for the first hour and a half but then Shyamalan pulled out all the stops with that pseudo-religious, quasi-mysterious ending. As much as I hated it though, there was not another movie all year I enjoyed talking about as much as this one. The alien was wearing boxer shorts for chrissakes!
24. Possession – Finally, someone had the brilliant idea to make a movie about writing and reading letters. What could be more exciting? I swear, there was a 10-minute scene where the lead characters simply read letters aloud to each other. Who wants to watch that? Add to that the terrible dialogue and annoying characters and you’ve got the second worst film of the year.
23. Igby Goes Down – Like a Kids for the 2000s, nearly every person in this film played a hateful lout of one kind or another. Jeff Goldblum was mildly entertaining and I loved the performance artist guy who played the cab driver in Happiness but he was used far too infrequently here. What a bad year for the Culkins. Scariest image of 2002: Amanda Peet’s naked back. Just a spine wrapped tightly in pale skin. Blech!
22. Red Dragon – Funniest scene of 2002: Ralph Fiennes, a once-respected actor, scarfing down a painting. That’s good comedy. Edward Norton was so low key he was almost non-existent.
21. The Scorpion King – How much swordfighting is too much? This movie answers that question. I hate movies with wise-cracking action heroes and it’s even worse when their side kick tells corny jokes and mugs shamelessly as well. This felt like the longest movie I saw all year.
20. Road to Perdition – Was I supposed to be rooting for Tom Hanks in this film? I was!?! Oh. Whoops.
19. The Ring – The biggest disappointment of the year. I loved the premise but after the first ten minutes it began sucking and didn’t let up until the end.
18. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones – One of the people I saw this with claimed it is better than The Empire Strikes Back. He is wrong. I actually liked it better than I thought I would but good lord do I hate Hayden Christensen and there was WAY too much C-3PO. My favorite part was the sound of those depth charge things as they exploded. Bwaaaah!
17. Tuck Everlasting – Pleasant. That pretty much sums up this film. I hoped that Alexis Bledel would blow me away the way she does every week on Gilmore Girls but instead I felt as if I was watching Alexis as Rory performing Tuck Everlasting in Chilton’s spring play. The crowd for this one enhanced my enjoyment. Lots of preteens who swooned at every kiss and sneered, SNEERED!, whenever Ben Kingsley appeared on screen. It was like watching a movie in the 1950s.
16. Panic Room – Easily the worst audience I have ever been a part of. The theater was packed with 14-16 year old kids, all high on hormones, packed tight in rows. Cell phones continually went off during the film causing the constant murmur of conversations to erupt into giggles and fits. The noise helped deflate any tension that the film built up. Finally, the guy right in front of me decided he had had enough. He stood up, turned around to the most annoying girl in the entire theater and bellowed, "Either shut up or get the fuck out!" I expected applause or some sort of verbal support but the crowd just sat in stunned silence. After 5 seconds, the girl loudly blurted, "Fuck! You!" I thought my head was going to explode. I loved the title sequence on this film.
15. Tadpole – I absolutely hated this film for the first 20 minutes but then something clicked either in the film or in my head and I started to really enjoy it. Kind of the same world as Igby Goes Down but a thousand times more enjoyable. For some reason I thought Jamie had a thing for Bebe Neuwirth but it turns out that I’m the one in love with her. Go figure.
14. My Big Fat Greek Wedding – Not too many people I know got a chance to see this little slice of life because it appeared in so few theaters, but luckily the Manchester movie house snatched up this gem of an indie and in the process won the hearts of all the locals. A film that sparked hours of contentious arguments at O’Connors and beyond but I still say it was a fun, if not formulaic, movie and it was nice to see Andrea Martin working again. Now, if you’ll please allow me to pat myself on the back.
13. Barbershop – Between this and that McDonald’s commercial where he does the bump with Grimace, Cedric the Entertainer proved himself to be the man of the year.
12. About a Boy – I love Toni Colette and I love weird British kids. Boy, this movie would have sucked ass had it been transplanted to America with Jon Cusack playing the title role.
11. Monsoon Wedding – I loved the music in this movie. Similar in some ways to My Big Fat Greek Wedding but it had that special ingredient of molestation that helped give it the edge.
10. The Importance of Being Earnest – The foppiest film of the year.
09. Screamin’ Jay Hawkins: I Put a Spell on Me – A documentary about the man who once got trapped in his coffin on stage and ended up shitting his pants. This was the only movie I saw at this year’s Manchester Film Festival. What’s that? You didn’t know Vermont’s outlet mecca also had its own film festival. Get hep, ace!
08. Insomnia – I still don’t like Robin Williams but I’ll watch Maura Tierney any day of the week.
07. The Bourne Identity – The most underrated movie of the year. Some amazingly fresh action sequences including a great chase scene with a tiny European car. Julia Stiles is the worst actress on the planet.
06. Punch-Drunk Love – So many of my favorite character actors were in movies this year and Luis Guzman was stellar here. This movie had it all: pudding, violent threats, Gursky, temper tantrums and an amazing set of cruel sisters. I like watching characters that just want to be left alone in their private little worlds.
05. Dogtown and Z Boys – As if I needed another reminder of how uncool I am, this documentary explained how a group of 13 year olds changed the face of skateboarding and in the process made me even more of a square. Thanks kids.
04. Super Troopers – The first film I saw for free once I started working the concession stand. Allison practically had to drag me to it. Maybe it was my low expectations or maybe it was the free giant size soda but we laughed ourselves silly at the syrup chugging and bulletproof codpieces. The best Vermont based cop comedy ever made.
03. Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams – I loved this movie so much that I saw it 2 ½ times, that’s ½ more than any other film this year. This featured the heaviest moment of any film all year subversively dropped right in the middle of a kid’s flick. Astonishing.
02. Spiderman – Not since Tim Burton’s Batman has a film captured the feel of a comic book so perfectly. I thought Willem Dafoe’s scenery chewing was astounding.
01. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers – There wasn’t a scene this year more amazing than the battle of Helm’s Deep. The silence before the battle suddenly broken by the sound of raindrops on metal armor was simply breathtaking. Darker and sadder than The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers left me desperate to see how Peter Jackson plans on finishing this masterpiece.
2002
LISTS
dan
kevin
jeremy
alex
sujan
dave n.
sarah f.
juhi
genna
shawn
chris larry
mitch
chris m.
donovan
marc
jim
