56. Undercover Brother: Denise Richards is worthless.
55. A Walk to Remember: Juhi made me watch it on video.
54. Enough: J-Lo is trash.
53. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood: Pathetic portrayal of female bonding.
52. Two Weeks Notice: Didn’t laugh once.
51. The Ring: Clue is ten thousand times scarier than this movie.
50. Maid in Manhattan: I can’t really explain why I expect anything from J-Lo.
49. Storytelling: How frustrating it is to be given a superb 30 minutes and then an agonizing 90. Couldn’t he have made a 30-minute short?
48. Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones: I don’t even want to waste time telling you why this movie was one of the worst of the year.
47. CQ: The most pretentious film I have seen in a very long time.
46. The Rules of Attraction: Rule number one: WB personalities don’t transfer well to film.
45. Pumpkin: Sorry, I just don’t get it: Why do people like Christina Ricci?
44. 25th Hour: One of the worst movies of the year. The best part about this movie is the trailer, so if you’ve seen it, then consider it watched.
43. Dahmer: Everyone knows the story. This movie offers little more.
42. The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys: Not worth ten dollars. Jena Malone is the devil.
41. The Bourne Identity: Damon is not an action hero.
40. 24 Hour Party People: Best part was the music. But you don’t have to sit through this movie to listen to it.
39. Bad Company: Anthony Hopkins is a little disappointing because, as much as I respect him as an actor, his comedic talents remain unseen.
38. One Hour Photo: Waste of money. Nothing scary, nothing shocking, and Robin Williams is a comedian, not a dramatic actor. So stop trying.
37. Panic Room: Very cool idea, but it wasn’t very suspenseful, so I couldn’t take it that seriously. Jared Leto in cornrows=unintentional comic relief.
36. Austin Powers in Goldmember: This movie was not very funny and wasn’t as smart as its predecessors, but seriously, the rap scene in the jailhouse was all I needed that night.
35. Blue Crush: It was a wholly stupid story, but who really cares about the story when you go see a surfer movie? So it’s allowed to suck.
34. Jackass: I don’t want to admit it, but it was better than Blue Crush.
33. Crossroads: Surprise of the century: Britney Spears can’t act. But this movie is so much fun to mock, it’s irresistible.
32. Spider-Man: I still can’t believe that’s all they gave us. Even the special effects weren’t that spectacular. I hated everything after his transformation. Kirstin Dunst is unbearably bad.
31. Insomnia: Al Pacino is the same loud, menacing character in most movies and succeeds somewhat in this one with the same damn method. Kinda sad that I fell for it.
30. Moonlight Mile: Boring. Too predictable. Too long.
29. Hollywood Ending: I love Woody, but this movie was a total letdown.
28. Red Dragon: It tried too hard to be like Silence of the Lambs, but that’s ok, I guess, as long as it steered clear of the mess Hannibal.
27. Secretary: The pace of this film was painfully slow. Every gesture and word was expressed with such precision it was difficult to watch after a while. Fine if that’s intentional, I get it, but I still don’t like it.
26. My Big Fat Greek Wedding: The script was beyond formulaic. It wasn’t especially funny, entertaining, or even quirky. I didn’t hate it, but I can’t seem to figure out why people liked it so much.
25. Frida: It tried too hard to look like a fantastical painting. Somewhat obnoxious and grandiose.
24. 8 Mile: I had to watch this movie. I don’t regret seeing it but would hesitate to recommend it.
23. Human Nature: It had a lot of fluff in between the good parts. The cutting room floor could have been more cluttered. Patricia Arquette’s musical numbers are entertaining.
22. Narc: I heart Busta.
21. The Son’s Room: It was sad and genuine, but nothing striking or original was really accomplished. Easily forgettable.
20. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Didn’t love it like the first one.
19. Punch-Drunk Love: This movie focused too much on the characters. Adam Sandler was pretty good, but the movie wasn’t wonderful.
18. Morvern Callar: I don’t know if this will make sense, but I liked Samantha Morton, I liked watching the film, and I liked the story, but I couldn’t care less about the fate of Morvern, so I was pretty disappointed.
17. Roger Dodger: Campbell Scott was great.
16. The Good Girl: I liked this movie. It’s simple.
15. Igby Goes Down: Honestly, I thought that this was going to be one of those movies that everyone loves. I have yet to find anyone who liked this movie as much as I did. Some claim not to care about the characters and to have been bored by the story. But I thought it was excellent, except when Claire Danes cries. She’s a horse, and I can’t stand her face.
14. About Schmidt: Really good script and an engaging performance by Jack, but I didn’t really enjoy the humor.
13. About a Boy: There is something about Toni Collette that makes me want to barf. But it made me laugh a lot.
12. Monsoon Wedding: Gorgeous and fun.
11. Adaptation: I tolerated the second hour of this movie because I loved the first so much. (Chris Cooper is a smarter version of my landlord.)
10. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers: This would have been lower on my list were it not for the battle. It saved the entire movie.
9. Gangs of New York: Some of the scenes in the middle dragged, but Daniel Day Lewis was spectacular. P.S. Leo has woman boobs.
8. Bowling for Columbine: My problem with this movie was the audience. Some people are so desperate for laughs that they can’t differentiate between a serious moment and a joke. Moore should make a movie about them.
7. Chicago: I thought it was a great musical, but I hope it doesn’t win the Oscar for Best Picture.
6. Catch Me if You Can: Could it be? Did I actually enjoy a Spielberg film?
5. The Pianist: Adrien Brody is amazing. Every scene is stirring.
4. Y Tu Mama Tambien: It’s a road movie with not a lot of action, but entertaining, striking, and moving.
3. Far From Heaven: I loved looking at this movie. It was engrossing and well written and acted.
2. The Hours: I think this would have been number one on my list if Claire Danes weren’t in it. Ed Harris was a complete ham, and once again, Toni Collette makes me cringe. Despite these flaws, it was very touching, well adapted, and meaningful. I thought the three stories were integrated perfectly.
1. The Kid Stays in the Picture: I liked every single minute of it. Paramount’s whiz kid Bob Evans is so unself-aware, but completely captivating. Favorite parts: His nasty words about Francis Ford Coppola (something about going to the kitchen and making spaghetti?), his unflattering stories about a power-driven Mia Farrow, and the black-and-white picture of Evans watching clips in a projection room, while moving smoke emanates from his lit cigarette. Stunning.
2002
LISTS
dan
kevin
jeremy
alex
sujan
dave n.
sarah f.
juhi
genna
shawn
chris larry
mitch
chris m.
donovan
marc
jim
