These are all the year 2000 films I saw last year, an * means I saw it in the theatre.

20. The Watcher * - Not just the worst movie of this year, but the worst movie I have ever seen. James Spader phones it in, Keanu menaces unconvincingly and Marisa Tomei was half-asleep the entire time. Proved to me that my belief: "if it's free, it's good" is not necessarily true. Bleh!

19. Cecil B. Demented * - A horrifying look at just how out of touch John Waters is with "underground" cinema. A completely unlikeable cast croons tunelessly and blow shit up. Whoopee. I must admit, Mr. Dorff won me over by the end but Ms. Griffith wins the award for worst comic timing. Mr. Crumpit should have been given a bigger role.

18. Final Destination * - Wonderful premise but I left unsatisfied. The lead bugged me as did the anthropomorphicity of death. It wouldn't go through all the trouble of creeping water over towards a kid to make him trip, it would just smite him down without all the fussiness. Good ending though.

17. The Skulls * - Craig T. Nelson makes up for the entire run of Coach with this scene-chewing turn as cult leader. Not enough rituals, car chases or homo love for my tastes.

16. What Lies Beneath * - For some reason, I really enjoyed this. Maybe it was too much Pepsi, maybe it was that I saw it with Terry, maybe I'm just losing my mind.

15. Butterfly * One woman's struggle to save a tree and the organization that supported her, got the media involved and attempted to forward their own agenda. One question: while bringing her food and mail, did Earth First see to it that her waste was properly disposed of too?

14. High Fidelity * - One fabulous character surrounded by dreck. I wanted more nrdy music talk and John Cusack should smile more. Lisa Bonet wins the award for least welcome comeback.

13. Nurse Betty * - Made me smile for 2 hours straight. So nice to see Crispin play a relatively normal character. Best scalping scene all year.

12. Dark Days * - My favorite guy was the one talking about his pets. "She was the best, man*well, not the best, but close to it."

11. Scream 3 * - Why was this so universally panned? I saw it twice and loved it both times. Or, at least, I loved Parker in it.

10. O Brother, Where Art Thou? * - Silly yes, but damn fun. Great soundtrack. George Clooney was as sexy in this as Tom Cruise was in Magnolia, but without the pottymouth.

09. The Eyes of Tammy Faye * - I would say sock puppets should narrate everything from now on but that really isn't a good idea. Maybe just the next Ken Burns documentary.

08. The Virgin Suicides * - An extended Masengil ad with a young hipster jumping off a roof and a soundtrack to blow your mind.

07. American Psycho * A constantly brilliant and hilarious film. More great music. What was the deal with the films this year? It seems they all had marvelous soundtracks. Anyhow, this film had my favorite line all year, "don't just stare at it, eat it!" Well said.

06. Best in Show * - Hmmm*.my choices for numbers 5-9 really could be in any order but this is how it turned out. I had heard this was tee hee smirk funny not ha ha funny*so how come I was chortling throughout. Another film I saw with Terry and Allison in a sugar high. Loved the squeaky bee, matching sweaters and braces and Christopher Guest's mouth music.

05. Jesus' Son * I fucked up. The night after seeing this I watched Drugstore Cowboy, it being Junkie Week and all, and now the two are fused into one on my memory. I do remember some things about this though, all of which I loved. The realistic dialogue, the organic quality of it's stories, the bunny scene and the hospital scenes. God damn Jack Black is great and Mr. Crudup has the best smile of the year, just edging out Renee Zellweger.

04. Bittersweet Motel * - I saw this at the peak of my Phish infatuation and it really did a number on me, which is why it is ranked so high. Compared to Instrument, this is the clear winner. Where Instrument gives snippets and random bits, this gives you the real deal- lots of music clips, backstage tomfoolery, shopping for weapons, bad practices and lots of naked hippies. A wonderful rock film.

03. Ghost Dog * - The only film I saw this year with subtitles. Take that other countries! Best rooftop, boat-building scene of the year.

02. Charlie's Angels * - I was hoping for cotton candy and got the whole damn circus. There's a terrible pull-quote if I've ever seen one. Anyhow, the bad parts of this film have long since left my brain, leaving behind only good memories and sweetness. Except for that fucker Tom Green who nearly sank the film single-handedly in his short amount of screen time. Memo to Ms. Barrymore: Dump the jerk and make a sequel, Pronto! In the year of the multiple film roles, Crispin takes the prize with this debonair role. That scene where the smoke curls around his head!?! I know! Kick ass!

01. Requiem for a Dream * - None more black. The ending seemed a bit exploitative and over the top but it worked on me. I felt like I had been beaten up. I was horrified and amazed bythe entire thing. Hands down the two most disgusting, wretched, Oh God Why? scenes of the year. The party scene at the end and the charred infection on Jared Leto's arm. Not my favorite movie of the year but what I feel was the best. Of course, I never got to see Bring it On.