In unprecedented Floyd Bocce League backroom shenanigans, Cap’n Terror, captain of the Coffee Flats Terrors, announced the latest addition to the team, Kat Kai – Traitor Terror is her current nom de guerre. Kat Kai is a founding member of Cobra Kai but when offered a chance to jump ship, she couldn’t ditch her old sinking teammates quick enough. Immediately after fulfilling her last duty as member of the Terrors’ rival, Kat hightailed it up Atlantic Avenue to the CFT team photo session. All attendees agreed that red, not black, is Kat’s color. Traitor Terror was not immune to the pride that the red polo with the team crest instills in a player; she was smiling and getting to know her new surprised but welcoming teammates. She even uncharacteristically tipped back a whiskey toast to celebrate.
Cobra Kai’s leader, Ross (The Sensei), responded to the recruitment by sending a message along with his ex-player – a digital photo of him flipping the bird intended for all of the Terrors. When asked how her ex-team captain took the news, “Traitor Terror” reports that The Sensei in his usual arrogance told her that he was tired of so many girls on the team and that he wanted “only jocks” on his squad. “I saw talent being used but not appreciated” said Cap’n Terror, “this improves my team and I feel like I rescued a swan from a swamp.”
It is more than two months away, but both Cobra Kai and Coffee Flats Terrors have marked November 11 as the day of reckoning. No matter either team’s record, the blood will be hot that day as the rivals face each other for the first time this season. “They might have a revenge factor, but I think we have a clear personnel advantage now” said Cap’n Terror. The CFT are hoping to retain their title as Champions of the Floyd’s Fall Bocce Championship.
This is not the first controversy for the Coffee Flats Terrors. After their championship run, Cap’n Terror could not hold the egos together and the team split along color and clothing lines. The former Coffee Flats Terrors reestablished themselves with new players as If You Want My Bocce and adopted the color green to completely erase any vestige of Terror pride. In August prior to the season, Cap’n Terror tried to unite, not divide, by inviting the original 10 CFTs to reform, but there had been too much time and too many words to turn back the clock.
Good luck to all.
(press release issued by Cap'n Terror)
The newest Terror dons a red jersey for team photo day.
