watching expired appliances align

During my Thanksgiving vacation cousin Dave gave me the rundown on his holiday gift-giving philosophy. I made a few notes and present the list below.

Only give Christmas gifts if you're going to be there in person.
Children under 5 get a ball.
Boys ages 5-12 get a pocket knife.
Girls ages 5-12 get anything "unicorn." Girls love unicorns.
Boys ages 12-17 get cologne.
Girls ages 12-17 get perfume.
Adults get either a toaster or an alarm clock with big numbers.

I wrote down this list in his presence. At first I wrote "alarm clock" and he corrected me, noting the importance of one with big numbers. "Next year they will tell you how much they appreciate the alarm clock with big numbers on it."

MightyJunior just linked to a color changing ball sold by the MoMA design store. I couldn't be happier. Sadly, it's on backorder.