I Need Your Help
I've reached the point in the summer where I'm ready to go back to the world of online dating. Did you know I'd taken a bit of a pause? Well, I had. A few months ago I woke up with the thought "I must delete all of my online dating profiles." That morning I did.
Now I want to go on dates again. I like to think I can construct a fairly good set of answers for the written parts of various profiles. It's the accompanying photographs that worry me. Is the photo I'm using too old? Does it show off my best side? Is this photo too tricky and good at hiding my bad sides? How can I present a single photo (or a 2nd and 3rd photo) that gives someone the sense of who I am and what they'll see when they meet me? As someone who is using his fourth digital camera you think I'd be adept at this. Now that I've survived a few years in my 30's I'm starting to doubt myself.
Take a look at the photos below and tell me which ones I should use and your thoughts on them. Should I photoshop any of them? Should I discard all of them and start anew? Do you have a photo or two of me that would be perfect and help fill my email inbox with plenty of "winks" and "nudges"?
The photo below was taken two years ago. It's a photo I've used previously in dating profiles. I worry about the age of the photo, but I like the smile (but not the tiny cut on my hand).
This shot was taken this past 4th of July. My hair is a little faux-hawky (I'd just woken up). I'm wearing my glasses and eating popcorn. I'm not sure if that's the image I want to present. I kind of like to think it says "wholesome."
From early July, this photo says "laid back good times person." I mean, when did I start unbuttoning my shirts that much? I don't like that the hair of my beard is so short. And I couldn't quite figure out the right gesture with my left hand. And I don't actually like catsup, so I could be misrepresenting myself with this one.
Hey, remember last spring and summer when I grew a giant beard? Wasn't that funny? Should I throw this photo into the mix, knowing it'll prompt the inevitable "do you still have that beard" query? If you like reading between the lines and you know NY, it kind of says "I know hamburgers."
Your comments are appreciated.
Comments
photo 3. your body looks like it doesn't belong with your head in #2. i like #4 as well.
Posted by: youthlarge | August 18, 2006 09:26 PM
Here are my thoughts as a single woman:
Photo 1) Terrific photo, you look friendly and happy.
Photo 2) Not a bad photo, you look relaxed and low key. (As a side note, why are you eating popcorn for breakfast and why are you waking up and hoping out of bed to attend a festival?)
Photo 3) I tend to agree that the shirt looks a little unbuttoned, luckily you didn't wear any gold necklaces.
Photo 4) Some women may not bother to inquire if you still have the beard and just hit delete...
Good luck!
Posted by: Kendra | August 18, 2006 11:05 PM
I like #1 and #2. I think #2 looks very natural.The unbuttoned shirt thing in #3 makes me giggle. #4 is good as an additional photo, but I probably wouldn't use it solo.
Posted by: Kaci | August 19, 2006 02:35 PM
anne and alex say #2 and #4. i like #2. you look like a grad student doing things to better society.
a and a.
Posted by: bachima | August 20, 2006 03:09 PM
I say go with #2.
#1 seems staged to me - like you're posing and about to say something like "Hi there."
#3 is a pretty good photo and the shirt doesn't bother me but the giant catsup might draw too much attention away from you.
#4 might be a good conversation starter worth saving for after the first date.
#2 is casual and more natural. Laid back, good times for sure. Also, for some reason I like that there are other people in the shot - it doesn't seem like you took a photo just for your on-line profile, but instead just grabbed one randomly from your files. That's the one I'd recommend using.
Posted by: mas | August 22, 2006 01:18 PM
I say #2 or #1. I like #2 a lot but it doesn't reveal the fun-loving giggler that you are, which is why I'm a little partial to #1. It looks like everyday balgavy.
Posted by: planbreaker | August 22, 2006 02:40 PM
Can I just say this is going along swimmingly? Thanks for all the input! When I have a viable online profile active, I'll let everyone know.
Also, I need to lay off the 3rd Wild Turkey for effective barroom flirting. Sadly, it's now been proven that the 3rd Wild Turkey brings about my peak bocce playing.
Please keep the comments coming in.
Posted by: Marc B. | August 22, 2006 05:42 PM
#1 is my favorite. I think the cut on your hand adds character. Second place is the catsup one.
Posted by: Jim | August 23, 2006 04:14 PM
Number 3 is the most real, which I think works the best...i like 2 as well.....1 is too old, not representative...4 no for obvious reasons, unless your trying to date a civil war reenactor, if so...4 def..
Posted by: chris larry | September 4, 2006 02:50 AM
#2 is great, but i'd want another without harsh shadows. 4 cracks me up, and i think any prospective mate should be aware of your facial hair transformations. i'd can the rest. i'm tempted to comb through your archives because i know there's better pictures of you. howsabout a bocce pic?
Posted by: shawn | September 9, 2006 12:26 PM
Here's No. 1 with minor Photoshopping of hand. Now you can use it without giving women the impression they'll be dating an open wound: me97_tu.jpg
Posted by: Adam K. | September 10, 2006 02:05 PM
You can never go wrong with popcorn
Posted by: df | September 11, 2006 11:37 PM