watching expired appliances align

The following facial hair update is kind of gross but not in a blood and guts kind of way. And once you’ve read this please don’t think of me as that smelly guy that sat in front of you in trigonometry class. I’m definitely not that guy (I sat in the back of the room for that class).

Yesterday I wore a new black linen shirt to work. I had plans to join HWL and others for their tri-birthday celebration. Midway through the afternoon I went outside and in the afternoon sunlight, or maybe it was the slight overcastness (I can’t really remember), I realized that my beard dandruff was verging on “out of control.”

Although most of my male friends have grown a beard or two in their lifetimes, I’m not sure if they’ve encountered beard dandruff. It’s gross and it just sneaks up on you. When my whiskers were short I didn’t have to contend with this problem. Now that the skin hidden beneath my chin feathers doesn’t see the light of day, it tends to dry. I also blame my stuffy office conditions.

When my facial hair was less rampant along, I’d use the exfoliating facial scrub once or twice a week. I’d also moisturize with a bit more frequency, especially those parts of my face now covered by my ever-growing beard. Somehow I’d fallen out of that routine and it’s time to find it again.

At the end of the day and before leaving for the birthday event, I used a lint roller and took care of the white flakes that populated the front of my shirt. I also did what I could to avoid stroking my beard (not that I’m not some sort of evil genius – I just tried to play it down last night).

I own one or two books about facial hair. I’m 99% sure beard dandruff isn’t mentioned in either of them. Now that spring is in full swing, I hope the more humid air will help take care of this issue. I’ll also be moisturizing and taking care of my skin like any intelligent adult.

This is probably the point where you’re thinking to yourself that I should buy a small bottle of Head and Shoulders (and Chins?). I think you might be right. Maybe my beard dandruff (those two words together are just gross, aren’t they? Your head fills with these images that are much scarier than actual beard dandruff) is the result of not washing my beard with any sort of shampoo on a daily basis. I like to let my beard go three or four days between shampoo scrubs, thinking that it will take on a less wild, more contoured look. I’m not sure if that worked, but it’s time to put those days behind me.

Although four months late, my resolution for 2005 is to take care of the beard dandruff.