watching expired appliances align

my inbox remains empty. i was certain that after making my dating wishes public, the responses to my responses would come pouring in. it seems by making a semi-joke out of the whole thing, i have destroyed whatever positive dating karma i may have.

these thirty minutes of waiting for some sort of notification by a potential mate have left me a shrunken man, no longer filled with hope. it's times like these when i think back to a lesson learned sometime during high school. or maybe late middle school. i think it was 8th grade, but i'm not certain.

imagine it's 1988 (or 1989) and i gather with a bunch of other kids outside the middle school early on saturday morning. we're loaded onto the typical bright yellow school bus and shipped thirty minutes to an indoor recreation center one county over. students from across the region are there. we are there to learn things about peer pressure and leadership. i'm sure someone received a grant. a lot of it probably went to photocopying costs, as i recall receiving a folder or a binder while there.

i only have two distinct memories from this day (other than the general feeling of hating it and feeling like i was wasting my time).

everyone was divided into groups and sent to different seminars. one of the ones i went to was lead by a police officer who had a huge table of bongs and pipes set up in the front of the classroom. i don't remember my specific reaction but i think it went something along the lines of "huh."

my other memory, from later in the day, involves a presentation to the whole group by a speaker who talked to us with some sort of straight-talk, up with people vibe. but he also reminded us who we should not be. he equated his little slogan with the car company, BMW. "you don't want to be a bitcher, moaner or whiner." i couldn't disagree, buried within my psyche - the part i tried to hide from my wannabe' tough exterior of the time - was the notion that i believe in the power of positive thinking. and that acronym, memory reminder, what-have-you stuck with me.

so, today, no more complaining about not having any responses to my email dating solicitations.

ohh, what am i saying? there's more to come! whining when done in a public forum is so much fun!!!