watching expired appliances align

email or e-mail?

it was the spring of '93. she pressured me into signing up for email from the university. i was a subscriber to wired, yet i was still slow in signing up for email. my life made no sense during those years.

we'd met during the summer of '91 and she was always smiling. getting in front of my video camera. we were at camp. things could have happened. they didn't. we lost touch. exchanged holiday greetings and before i knew it i was visiting a friend for the weekend. only, i wasn't hanging out with my guy friend from high school, i was spending my time in her dorm room. fumbling around on her bed. and i do mean fumbling. it started like all those make out sessions start: with us looking through her photo album. when i was in college that was my prime 'move'. looking through a photo album. i can't imagine anything more lame. but it lets you sit next to the person. like i said, "fumbling."

during the month of february there was talk of cameron crowe's movie, "singles." she and her friends claimed she looked like one of the actresses. i saw the movie twice the weekend it played on my campus.

a few phone calls and posted letters were exchanged.

i signed up for email. hadn't seen her in two months? one of my first ten real email messages was from her talking about being in history class and thinking that she shouldn't be leading me on. things were over between us. fine. i said. i could deal with that. but hadn't i signed up for email so i could communicate with her more frequently? i didn't even know what she and i had. and i certainly was glad it was over. it was too confusing. i guess i was too young.