what interested me was the double standard used where the word in question was concerned. the headline calls it the "obscenity bat" and when the time comes to describe what was written on the knob, the writer/editor decided to go with "F--K FACE". fair enough - most newspapers and other established media outlets make the same kinds of decisions all the time. but then you look at the photo used right above the vocabularical obfuscation and not only did they not block out the "offensive" part of the image, they have actually used a version where the phrase itself has been enlarged and the colors enhanced for improved clarity. so why bother concealing the actual word in the article? is the removal of two letters actually preventing anyone from figuring out what the word is, or from being offended? to me, it only makes it look like these media people are so deathly afraid of offending a very small segment of the population that they allow themselves to be made to look like idiots. what other four-letter words even start with F and end in K? fork, fink, funk, folk - that's all i got. ooh, or maybe Billy was a Filk fan!

i'm not advocating that reporters and others start tossing gratuitous cocks and shits into their stories, just that they stop tripping all over themselves trying to protect readers from these ghastly syllables when they are part of the story and/or part of a direct quote. it doesn't mean that you're endorsing the language or that you are contributing to the downfall of polite society. it means that these words exist and from time to time come out of the mouths of newsworthy people.

for more entertaining media knicker-twisting over the self-censorship of foul language that will really make your brain addle as it tries to parse the rationale, i encourage you to delve into Daniel Radosh's more comprehensive archives on the subject. it's especially fun when the omission of words and phrases leads to the piece being completely unclear and therefore failing as journalism altogether.

last night, for the official celebration, we trekked back to Manhattan for dinner at the Bridge Cafe - "the oldest drinking establishment in New York." this place had been on my radar since soon after i moved here, and apparently it was a favorite of former mayor Ed Koch. i don't remember when i first came across it, but i used to see it quite often from the onramp to the Brooklyn Bridge and i liked the idea of eating in the shadow of the bridge in a place that would recall centuries gone by. the atmosphere didn't quite live up to my imagination, but the ambiance was nicely cozy, especially on such a chilly, breezy night after a 10-minute walk from the subway. and imagine my delight when they had an extensive menu of whiskeys available from the bar (the long wooden bar itself being one of the older touches in the place along with a few old signs advertising 45-cent goulash and some lithographs of the opening of the Brooklyn Bridge). we never even saw the wine list. i had a Manhattan made with Michter's single-barrel rye while the bar made up a variation on hot buttered rum for the wife. off to a good start.

for our appetizers, i got the crab-spinach-artichoke fondue while she got the breaded, fried oysters. the fondue was awesome- like a great artichoke dip. the oysters were pretty good, too, though they could have benefited from a crispier coating. the main course presented a dilemma. the wife fixated on the diver scallops right off the bat while i wavered (no shock to anyone who has ever gone out to eat with me). the pork chop seen in the online menu was not listed, and i had talked myself out of the ribeye already. but that left the "famous" buffalo steak and two specials: a blackened grouper, and wild game sausage. the game in question turned out to be venison, elk and wild boar, and the accompanying sauerkraut and potatoes sealed the deal for me. again, i was thrilled with my selection, though we weren't able to definitively determine which sausage was which. they were all delicious. the scallops, however, also fell in to the "just OK" category, though the accompanying sauce was pretty tasty. for dessert we got a bread pudding and a carrot cake. the pudding came with a bourbon caramel sauce that made the whole thing. the carrot cake would have been better at room temperature, but was a nice rendition nonetheless. i capped the evening with a single malt Connemara Irish Whiskey that "peaty" only begins to describe. it was delicious and steeled me for the blustery power walk back to the subway. the less said about the young couple who were sitting across from us and may or may not have had a white limo waiting outside for them, the better.

when we got home, i got a small present - celery bitters from LeNell's (naturally). i quickly dashed a bit into a glass of seltzer and the result was what i assume a Cel-ray tastes like, though i've never had one of those. the only disappointment came when i learned that LeNell herself had been disparaging of my enjoyment of Jameson. now i understand that there is a world of whiskey out there, and i love that LeNell's carries a wide variety and that much of that variety is reasonably priced. i love to explore and experiment as much as anyone, and i've always had pleasant interactions with the folks who work there, so i'm willing to overlook this particular incident. but i don't always want to have to ponder over every sip (you could make similar analogy with microbrews vs. Yuengling or other mass-produced swill) so i will remind her that the store's phone number is (877) NO-SNOBS and leave it at that.

even after a solid night of sleep, i woke up today feeling none too hungry. the wife and i planned to head out to purchase our very own seltzer maker, but our preferred location was closed today for the Sabbath. so we set out for the second store on the list, albeit without calling ahead. as could have been predicted, that place seemed to no longer exist, so we decided to hoof it to yet another place, about 20 blocks away. as we walked along, we realized that we were in a heavily Jewish area, and that our chances of completing our mission were dwindling. our disappointment grew when we passed the (closed) Pomegranate supermarket that looked like it would have merited a stop. the store carrying the seltzer maker still existed this time, but was indeed observing its day of rest rather than engaging us in some down-and-dirty commerce. the final kick in the pants came when we saw a new Pickle Guys location, also closed. apparently, it would displease god to allow to me buy a freaking pickle on a Saturday. i think i broke at least 3 commandments expressing my displeasure at this turn of events.

all was not lost however, for we realized we were in Midwood, home of DiFara Pizza - a scant 5 blocks from where we stood (also home to Oh Nuts, a mas favorite (and thanks to him for the address assistance), but another Saturday casualty). so off we went. it was about 2:45, it was crowded up front, and i was finally getting hungry. it took many minutes to get our order placed (regular pie with anchovies), but there was an available table, which we were all too happy to grab. we were prepared to wait, and it took about 45 minutes for our pie to appear. to this point, we have both been proponents of Totonno's in Coney Island, so we were anxious to see how this stacked up given all we had heard over the years. we definitely weren't disappointed. everything tasted great, from the tangy sauce to the creamy cheese to the salty, salty anchovies. the crust was a winner as well, and useful for mopping up oil and topping spills, though it might have benefitted from another minute or so in the oven - it was still very light colored with almost no char whatsoever. the fresh basil is always a welcome addition - one of the reason i love having Waldy's around the corner from my office. i packed three slices away and could have done a fourth, but was talked down by my better half. it's sitting in the refrigerator right now calling out to me. it probably won't be long now. that said, and knowing that char levels can vary from visit to visit, neither of us was prepared to knock Totonno's and its coal-fired glory from the perch at #1. something about the total package there just can't be touched. not that we've tried every possible contender. we'll need to make a pilgrimage to Staten Island some day. and another one to New Haven. maybe even to Trenton. but the best part is that there is no right answer, and we win just by playing. now if you will excuse me, i have a toaster over to preheat.

OK, you didn't totally screw things up since the right guy won, but let's start with the fact that a guy who played in only 53 games ended up in 4th place. yes, i know he was amazing, but you only voted him that high because he played those games in August and September. Lance Berkman had 2 great months as well - pretty much the equal of Manny's 2 months - but they were in April and May, and so he ended up 5th. but that's just scratching the surface, because the guy you voted to 2nd place - let's call him the Almost-MVP or AMVP - was only the 5th most valuable player on his own team according to a statistic that actually includes "Value" in the title. yes, that team went to the playoffs and yes they won the World Series (not that you knew at the time), but he was less valuable than Jamie Moyer. 45-year-old Jamie Moyer! the man has given up home runs to Luis Aguayo (who? exactly) and 1975 NL Batting Champ and co-All-Star MVP Bill Madlock. he gave up Barry Bonds 11th career HR. but he still out-VORPed Ryan Howard in 2008.

all of this is understandable, if not entirely defensible. after all, Manny brought the Dodgers to the playoffs and Howard hit 48 HRs, and those are some nice, shiny things you can point to. where the whole thing really falls apart, though, is with the pitchers. yes, pitchers are an afterthought in the whole MVP race (where have you gone Guillermo Hernandez?), but you would expect some internal consistency within the ranks of the writers/voters. but those expectations are quickly dashed once you realize you are dealing with a group of people who stopped thinking in anything but cliches around the age of 10. which is how you end up with this: Tim Lincecum wins the Cy Young Award as the best pitcher int he National League. then the time comes to vote for MVP, and not only is Lincecum *not* the highest ranked pitcher, he comes in 4th! in fact the order of the top 4 Cy Young vote-getters is reversed in the MVP vote. Brad Lidge is given the highest ranking and gets two 1st place votes despite the fact the he received 0 (i repeat, 0) 1st place votes for Cy Young. holy bleeping hell, how on earth do you justify that? i know he didn't blow a save all year, but that somehow makes him more valuable than the 3 guys you judged were better pitchers? this is like saying that Rocky Road is your favorite ice cream, then turning around and ranking it behind Pistachio, Chocolate Chip and Cookie Dough on your list of favorite desserts. without Tim Lincecum, the Giants would have been lucky to win 55 games (they won 72). is there no value in preventing your team from being one of the worst of all time? apparently not. but it's still insane, because Lidge got more MVP points than both Johan Santana and Brandon Webb, most likely because neither of their teams made the playoffs. but Santana's team won 5 more games than the Dodgers did, missing the playoffs only due to an unbalanced schedule and the existence of random geographical groupings. would Santana have ranked higher if the Mets had played in the NLWest? because if you're taking making the playoffs into account, then how do you explain 2006, when Howard won the MVP over Pujols despite the fact that the Phillies stayed home while the Cardinals went on to win the World Series? you can't because you're all bunch of mouth-breathing lunkheads who think that "hustle" and "guts" are as important as "hitting". did i mention that Lidge was only the 3rd most valuable pitcher on his team behind Moyer and Cole Hamels? or that Chase Utley (the actual most valuable Phillies player) finished behind Howard and Lidge for MVP? no? good, because if i did i would probably have an aneurysm.

lastly, baseball writers, can we talk aboutyour website? i know that you're not the most technologically advanced subculture in this strange little world of ours (something that too many of you are probably a little too proud of), and that you don't have time to learn all this newfangled stuff about VORP, and RSS, and Twittering (you're right, it does sound dirty) but you are at least familiar with the concept of graphic design, right*? so you are aware, then, that the BBWAA site looks like it was designed by a 13-year old in 1997? and that it should be hosted at a GeoCities address? would it be piling on for me to mention that your "coverage" page doesn't even have links for, like, 60% of the teams in MLB? or that the message board in your "Members only" section is advertised as "to come" despite the fact that message board technology pretty much existed back when most people used modems to download ASCII porn? it may be, and i've asked far too many rhetorical questions here already, so i'll just say that if you want to be viewed as something other than a group of dinosaurs who are out of touch with the times, you might consider creating a homepage that requires more than 54 lines of HTML. or at least stop voting for players who are ineligible for the awards.

* if not, here's a fun place to start - an investigation into the origins of the MLB logo

The French philosopher Blaise Pascal argued that although God's existence cannot be proven through reason, it makes sense to have religious faith since a person has everything to gain – an "infinitely happy life" – and nothing to lose by doing so.

i guess ol' Blaise never heard of Proposition 8. then again, he apparently called marriage "the lowest of the conditions of life permitted to a Christian". zing! what a cutup. seriously, though, nothing to lose? as if religion had never deprived anyone of freedom or choice? as if no one ever committed evil deeds in the name of god? perhaps it is because i am a product of a significantly more morally-relative era, but even looking at it from a logician's point of view it would seem a hard statement to defend. and indeed, it seems there have been numerous criticisms lobbed at "Pascal's Wager" over the years. then i started reading more of his quotes, and he seems to have had a pretty bleak opinion of human nature and the prospects for happiness in this mortal coil (cf. "Nothing is surer than that the people will be weak" or "How hollow is the heart of man, and how full of excrement!").

of course, i meant this entry to be just a toss-off and it has instead started me down a path of late-night reading and existential thinking that leads to a very tangled set of intralocutions. Pascal was interested in attacking certainty, and i am finding that commodity in short supply now. in the interest of sleep and mental peace, however, i will sum it up by noting that when i saw that they were giving 4-to-1 odds on god's existence, my first thought was "yeah, that seems about right" and now i'm not sure whether that means i'm more or less predisposed to the concept and and how much hedging of my bets needs to be done to ensure that i don't lose my metaphysical shirt.

"yeah, i remember Tiger Trap."

joy
"[friend] cannot belive the overwhelming excitement on the streets tonight. It happened!!"
"[friend] is yesterday was a magical day."
"[friend] is so excited about the future. Wahoo!"
"[friend] is giddy!!!!"
"[friend] is WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!"

pride
"[friend] is so proud of Ohio going Blue and not Red"
"[friend] now lives in a blue state....how great is that!"
"[friend] s very proud to be an American. What a day. And for me personally, a long way from South Carolina in the 1970s. God bless America."

relief
"[friend] is relieved it wasn't all a dream :)"
"[friend] is so glad it wasn't all a dream."
"[friend] is relieved."

overconsumption
"[friend] has a hangover, a smile, and a healthy respect for Nate Silver at fivethirtyeight." (amen to that - i've been glued to that site for weeks)
"[friend] has the best hangover ever."
"[friend] had to teach class this morning with an election hangover (but was happy to do it!)"
"[friend] is intellectually hung over."
"[friend] has never been so happy to be so hung over."

patriotism
"[friend] has never felt so patriotic!"
"[friend] is proud to be an American for the first time in her adult life and can breathe again."
"[friend] is feeling very optimistic about the future of our country right now."
"[friend] is going to actually say the pledge of allegiance with his homeroom tomorrow for the first time."
(bonus from my sister-in-law: "I may even start saying the pledge again.")

retreating disbelief
"[friend] still doesn't think it's sunk in."
"[friend] It's still sinking in."

small dissatisfaction
"[friend] is so excited about yesterday, and can't describe what an amazing night it was in Harlem. But her heart is a little broken over Prop 8."
"[friend] is wtf prop 8??"
"[friend] - is Ted Stevens really going to win? Are we sure we don't want to let Alaska just go ahead and secede?"

there's some crossover between these, but i'm pretty sure i felt all of these at one time or another over the last 18 hours. but it's gonna be a long 76 days.

the year is 2006. the stock market is riding high. the Democrats have just secured a majority in Congress (which they will do absolutely zilch with). the war in Iraq is still mostly an unmitigated debacle. the iPhone is still merely a techno-geek wet dream. and the 83-win Cardinals have just become possibly the worst team to ever win a World Series.

Gary Matthews, Jr. is a 32-year old journeyman who has already played for 6 different teams and been released by at least 1 other without playing a game for them. he just finished his first ever season with a batting average over .300, or with more than 500 at bats, or with more than 15 HRs, or with more than 55 RBI. it's pretty much the definition of a fluke season. but Arte Moreno had $50 million sitting around that he didn't particularly need, and he and Bill Stoneman ended up throwing it at Matthews in the form of a 5-year contract. they even threw in 3 years of No-Trade Clause.

that same offseason, Frank Catalanotto (career .297 BA) signed for $13M over 3 years. Moises Alou (319 career HRs) signed for $7.5M. Jose Guillen, coming off a down year after 3 very solid seasons, signed a 1-year deal for $5M. most sources questioned the intelligence of the deal, but the Angels weren't having it.

"He's a guy we're really happy to have," Angels general manager Bill Stoneman said during a conference call. "One of our objectives during this offseason was to improve ourselves in center field."

"Guys learn at different times in their careers," Stoneman said. "Gary's coming into his own."

so how has it worked out so far?

Career Batting Average, pre-2006: .249
2006 Batting Average: .313
--------------
2007 Batting Average: .252
2008 Batting Average: .242

2007: 135 games in CF
2008: 31 games in CF

Matthews immediately got caught up in allegations of HGH use, then lost 61 points off his batting average and 124 points off his OPS. he was injured and missed the Angels postseason series against the Red Sox in which they were swept. then the Angels went and signed Torii Hunter to play CF in 2008 (thus the drop-off in games noted above), and Matthews went on to lose another 66 points of OPS. he played in the 2008 ALDS against the Red Sox and went 0-for-5 as the Angels lost in 4 games. now he's unlikely to be ready for 2009 Opening Day, leaving him in danger of passing Juan Pierre (5 years, $44M) as the worst free agent signing of the 2006/7 offseason. Stoneman has since stepped aside as Angels GM, though he remains in a consultant capacity.

the big winners in all of this (besides Matthews and his agent)? the San Francisco Giants, who offered the same contract but lost out to the Angels. of course, had they landed Matthews, it might have prevented them from the atrocities of the Barry Zito era in Giantland.

meanwhile the rest of us get to sit back and marvel that many people who get paid to make baseball decisions consistently make very poor decisions. and yet, they get to keep on making those decisions, or they end up getting paid to talk about baseball, further enraging anyone with half a brain who would love it if the so-called experts actually seemed like they had a clue and weren't just saying things to be heard over the other blathering idiots or to stir up pointless controversy.

sometimes death provides answers, but more than anything, his death just leaves me with questions. were there any signs of depression in his writing? did acclaim and admiration leave him feeling empty? does "genius" mean a higher likelihood of unhappiness? should i be concerned because i identify so closely with some of his work? why did he choose hanging over the other options?

i'm going to spend some time reading and re-reading his work in the coming months, and i am thankful that it exists. but i doubt that i will gain any additional insight into the mindset that led him to his fate. and i don't think that i will suddenly feel like a part of me has gone missing. come to think of it, i may have learned that from reading his work.

What a disappointment, but what a wild last 20 minutes. Just when it looked like the U.S.'s goose was cooked, they came alive and were within one shot off the crossbar from advancing (thanks for nothing, Japan). Of course, they almost gave up 4 more goals at the end, but that's what happens when desperation forces such a single-minded push forward for a goal. And that desperation was the result of a careless, stupid foul early on that had the U.S. playing short-handed for virtually the entire game. That put them in a defensive mindset early as they packed everyone back and hoped they could withstand the assault. But like the Branch Davidians at Waco, it was only a matter of time before the assailing forces would break through and torch the place, as the Nigerians scored late in the first half and looked to have put it away with a second goal about 80 minutes in (that came on the heels of the kick-in-the-teeth news that the Netherlands had scored on a penalty kick). I seriously considered turning the TV off and going back to bed at that point, but I'm glad that I stuck it out, even if the end result wasn't what I had hoped. If you decided to sleep in, the full video and highlight packages should be up on NBCOlympics.com sometime this morning.

Overall, I am heartened about the prospects for the U.S. team going forward. Yes, there are some deficiencies, but it seems that many of the lapses are more mental than physical and those should be easier to correct. If Adu and Bradley had been in there it may have been a different story today, but playing the "what if" game will only make you crazy (or make me crazy at least). That doesn't mean some of Novak's decisions shouldn't be questioned, or that the players get a pass on bad play. To that end, a player-by-player breakdown follows.

STARTERS

Orozco - The goat for a mindless elbow that had him sent off early (must have gotten that from playing in Mexico). I thought he had played well in the first two games and I hope he will continue to develop for the future.

Guzan - Hung out to dry on both goals, but made some nice saves and looks to continue the strong tradition of U.S. goalkeepers. He'll even get to learn on the job with Brad Friedel at Aston Villa this year.

Parkhurst - Had been rock solid for 2+ games until he got beat along the end line on the first Nigerian goal. Fell down on the second goal as well and didn't get the necessary help from Wynne in time.

Wynne - Strong in defense and some good forays into the offensive zone, including a great run past 2 defenders that resulted in the U.S.'s best scoring chance of the first half. If only he had a little more touch with the ball at his foot, he might have picked out McBride who was wide open for a few seconds. Complicit in the second goal, which came from his side of the field.

Edu - Made the most of his opportunity during the tournament and played well again today. Moves forward well (he drew the foul that led to Kljestan's penalty goal)and becomes a target on some set pieces. I will need to watch some Toronto FC games to see how he plays in MLS.

Rogers - I can't sugarcoat it - he was awful during the first two games - giving away balls all day long and providing no crosses from the left side whatsoever. Even with the U.S. team shorthanded, I thought he should have been benched. Orozco' sending off forced him to play at left back and he had his best game of the tournament as a result. You could tell he was out of his element back there occasionally, but I thought he held his own and when he did move forward, he looked more confident and was able to do better with his possession. He's playing well in MLS and is only 21, so if he can continue to make some incremental gains, he might be a factor for the national team down the road.

Holden - Delivered some nice balls on set pieces and provided needed defensive help before subbing off. If he could have corraled that cross in the 2nd half, the game would have been tied. (If ifs and buts, were candy and nuts, etc. etc.).

Kljestan - Needed to bring it today in Adu's absence and definitely did not. Too many bad touches and giveaways that led to Nigeria moving the other way. I was not impressed with him overall with the exception of the last 30 minutes of the Netherlands game. My pessimistic side thought he would miss the penalty today as well, but he nailed it and set the stage for the exciting finish.

Szetela - I have been wanting to see more of him since the U20 world cup last year and he got a chance today with the absence of Adu and Bradley. Unfortunately, he didn't do much with it, providing no pressure on the defense and no service from the right side. He didn't do anything obviously wrong, he was just sort of there. He's playing in Italy's Serie B, which could be a stepping-stone to a larger stage at some point.

Altidore - Says his ankle is still bothering him, and was asekd to play out of position on the left flank once Orozco was sent off and Rogers moved to the back. Came out at halftime without having made much of an impression in these games (his goal was a lucky deflection). Will be interesting to see how he does in Spain in the upcoming season. He has shown he has a nose for the goal but doesn't create opportunities himself.

McBride - Must have been exhausted after being the only one forward most of the game, chasing the defense. Did not have a good tournament due to a complete lack of service. I can't remember one decent cross into the box from the run of play during the 3 games until the one in the 2nd half today that McBride missed and Holden couldn't control when it fell to his feet. Without that, McBride can't really help you. For reason I'm willing to second guess putting him out there for all 3 games, especially once Davies came on and showed something.

SUBS

Feilhaber - Seemed more interested in bitching to the refs than trying to make something happen, but the U.S. definitely played better with him out there (an effect I've noticed previously). I like him and he's got loads of potential and if he can find his way to some regular playing time with a club team after Derby County soured on him - and it looks like that might happen - then he could become a midfield force in time for the next World Cup. That's hardly a given, however.

Davies - Hat tip to JDB for mentioning Davies to me and saying he would like to see him in there. He plays in Sweden, so I've never really seen him play, but his limited time on field was an eye opener. He created all sorts of problems for the Nigerian defense and his potentially equalizing header off the crossbar was one of those jump-up-off-the-couch-and-then-cover-your-head-with-your-hands moments. So where was he the rest of the tournament?

McCarty - He's like The Little Engine That Could. He doesn't look like much (in fact, he looks like he just came from his junior prom), but he's always moving and thus forcing the opponents to pay attention to him. Given how tired both sides were by the end, his energy could have been the difference. Didn't happen but he's a great option to keep around for situations like this one.

So the U.S. will not be moving on, which is a shame. On the bright side, it means not seeing them possibly get decimated by Argentina in the quarterfinals. And more sleep for me. That's probably a good thing.

Related: Listmaker attempts to parse his feelings about the whole affair.

earlier today, the once and former Hand-washings sent out a link to 23 homemade Hall & Oates videos that are part of some contest their website is running. i kind of wish there was a video of the 7-year old me jumping around. or else video of me and the wife dancing like fools to "I Can't Go For That" at Chris Larry's wedding - something that she just reminded me of. because stuff like that would fit right in with this collection.

H&O always had a certain cheesiness to them and no matter what kind of cheese you like, it's represented here. goofy premises? try #10. cover versions featuring over-emotive closeups? #11 got it in spades. needless distracting visual effects? perhaps they'll keep you from notciing the horrific dancing in #16. deep cuts + puppets? #12 has you covered. unintentional comedy? pretty much everywhere, but #5 seemed to go above and beyond the call of duty with the woman lip synching and then jumping into her PT Cruiser and then giving a kid a ride on the handlebars of a bike and then riding in the back of a pickup truck, all to a really bad song. you really have to watch it. or watch them all, really. it's all there: bad outfits, bad wigs, bad lip synching, women in drag, glorified wedding bands, highbrow, lowbrow, Stew "the man of 1,000 voices" and a whole, whole lot of instrument miming. you'll lose an hour, but it's a fun hour. a lot of it felt like watching a Mr. Show sketch (David Cross seems like he would make an excellent Oates).

of course, then you get to vote for your favorite and for me it came down to #8 vs. #19. 8 featured a non-obvious choice of song ("Head Above Water"), a keytar, and an apartment complex swimming pool. 19 featured two women in ridiculous outfits re-purposing themselves as "The Maneaters" and doing a decent job of singing the song while adding a few new flourishes (harmonies! acoustic guitar solo!) and dancing terribly. in the end i went with #8, so here is your t.s.o.a. approved winner:

in 1993 i returned to college for my sophomore year with a rather mild case by my standards. i was back a few days before most of the rest of campus for reasons that i no longer remember, and by the time my roommate showed up, it was pretty much done with. i don't even remember what i did with those days to myself back in the halcyon days before the internet beckoned at every slack tide in the daily planner. the point of this is that that was the last time that i had poison ivy. after about 12 straight years of affliction, i managed to avoid it. this despite several backcountry camping trips in Shenandoah National Park, hikes in the woods, a summer spent as a counselor at a day camp, etc. for a while i thought that maybe my body had even built up a tolerance to it, learning that it was better to let sleeping histamines lie rather than endure a week or more of itching and furtive scratching.

so it was with some shock when i began scratching at the back of my leg yesterday, thinking that maybe i had become the victim of yet another mosquito bite (they've been particularly fond of me this year) when i started to feel multiple bumps close together in a pattern that was decidedly more regional. upon closer inspection, it appears to be confirmed: looks like i brought something else home from Fire Island besides a sunburn.