the shrewdness of apes

ohmygod, just when i thought she couldn't be any more pandering and just generally awfulawfulawful, Hillary has to go and make herself even more unpalatable. her campaign site was recently running a contest to have people choose the theme song for her campaign. i find it ridiculous that she doesn't even have the conviction to just pick her own song. no, she has to make sure that she gives herself plenty of wiggle room and minimal responsibility. i wonder if she even owns any actual albums or if she listens to nothing but motivational tapes. yes, i know it's all web 2.0 to have the masses all jammin' together, but even that feels like she's trying to co-opt something. whatever, the whole thing is only made more annoying by the presence of Smashmouth, Shania Twain, Jesus Jones (!?!) and 2 different U2 songs (goddam she can't even decide which U2 song to include!).

anyway, now she posts a video on the site to announce the winner, and of course it's a rip-off of the Sopranos finale with Bill (and a cameo by Johnny Sack), and of course it's just stilted and awful. and what ends up winning? Celine Dion! holy flipping Christ can it get any worse? yes it can because the song was not even on the original list of songs put up for vote. which means that either it was suggested as a write-in candidate (leaving yet another escape hatch open!) or that she went off the list thereby showcasing what terrible, terrible judgment she has. Celine mothereffin' Dion? whether it was chosen by Hillary and her staff or by a popular vote of supporters it just sums up everything about her candidacy that has me hoping against hope that someone will find a way to beat her come primary season.

please, Democrats, come to your senses. she is a dead end. a roadblock on the way to Progress. a ticket to a matinee of "More Politics as Usual". i understand the allure of an electable female candidate and i hate to agree with Rush Limbaugh about anything, but Hillary Clinton should not be our next president. and if you're looking for somewhere else to throw your support, might i suggest Bill Richardson? you know, someone who actually wants to get us out of Iraq (or did you forget that's why we elected all those Democrats back in November?).

Posted by Jamie at 06:25 PM | Permalink

today's Guardian has a great feature with musicians (and others) badmouthing classic albums that normally get a pass from any criticism. it's something we've probably all experienced at some point, and the albums discussed run the gamut from Nevermind to Pet Sounds to Dark Side of the Moon and there's lots of great lines like this one about the Strokes: "If ever there was a point where Gucci and rebellion were married together, it was right there." or this one about Trout Mask Replica: "It sounds like you feel when you've taken the wrong drugs, like going to your mate's dope party on speed. I'd listen to it with my head in my hands."

if i had to choose an album to put on the list, it would have to be "Horses" by Patti Smith. it's been about 15 years since i heard it for the first time and i've only come across it a handful of times since then, but it makes no more sense to me now as a "classic" than it did then. what exactly is supposed to be good about this album? i suppose i can see it in some ways as a counterpoint to to bloatedness and superficiality of a lot of 70s music, but the music itself leaves me totally cold and her voice is completely unappealing. and i like plenty of unappealing voices. meanwhile, 30 years later, did this album really accomplish anything? these days she just shows up at rallies to sing the execrable "People Have the Power" (note to Patti: no, they don't. i believe it was sold for stock options sometime in the mid-90s). i just listened to a snippet of the reggae crap of "Redondo Beach" and i'm wondering who on earth could seriously find that appealing in any way.

as my friend Dave would say it's a broccoli album - you're supposed to like it because you've been told it's good for you but i can't find anything redeeming in it (i actually like broccoli, but you get the point). it makes me feel like i'm at someone's poetry reading or performance art piece and afterward everyone is going up to her and being like "oh my god, that was so powerful. i really got what you were doing there" and i'm hanging toward the back thinking "OK can we all just get a fucking beer now and talk about Knocked Up?"

Posted by Jamie at 05:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)