the shrewdness of apes

a couple weeks ago, in an entry about the names of college basketball recruits, i was introduced to the Name of the Year site, and it's pretty fantastic. first of all it was started by a couple of guys in college, probably while drunk or otherwise altered. then they had the vision to keep it going, more or less, every year since, to the point where there are now about 20 Names of the Year that have been handed out.

we've all come across funny and/or ridiculous names, whether through sports, news, or anecdote. i remember Listmaker talking about some of the students in his mom's classes in her suburban Maryland school who had names like Fashion Dynasty, and a friend of South Asian descent who talked about family friends named Dikshit and who worked at a children's hospital in inner city Philly who came across kids named Scharles and such (i don't know why the extra S makes it so amusing, but it does). that said, the Names of the Year really are something special: Doby Crotchtangle, Excellent Raymond, Honka Monka, Jerome Fruithandler. i mean, wow. a few of the names have turned out to be fake, but for the most part, they're for real. there's even a "Hall of Name" and you can check out the full ballot for 2006 or make a submission for the 2007 ballot (coming in March). the whole thing reminds me of that Nicolas Cage skit on SNL where his character is named "Asswipe Johnson".

my favorite of all the names on the site is Tanqueray Beavers, the 2005 winner, because of the perfect combination of alcohol and juvenile sexual sniggering. and i couldn't resist Googling the name to make sure that s/he actually existed. as i found out, the past tense is accurate because "Tank" Beavers was tragically gunned down in Huntsville, Alabama back in December. that's kind of a buzzkill when you're simply looking for a laugh, but it makes you wonder how much of an effect a name has on a person. i mean, Tanqueray Beavers was never going to be the CEO of GM or anything, right? then again, there's the story of Winner and Loser Lane made famous in Freakonomics, so who really knows?