goal: 1 for each year
i've often said that if i were ever to enter a competitive eating event, the only conceivable food that i might be able to throw down in quantity would be chicken wings. i've probably never eaten more than 20 or 25 at once, but under the right circumstances, i could see plowing through 50 no problem. that still wouldn't get me anywhere near the record of 173 (in 30 minutes), but it also doesn't make me sick to my stomach just thinking about it they way, say, 1.5 gallons of chili, 45 conch fritters or 4 32-ounce bowls of mayonnaise does.
i bring this up because we're headed to Buffalo Wild Wings next weekend for my birthday, where they advertise that their wings are "sauce-spun". frankly that doesn't sound like my ideal mode of preparation (they're also touting a new menu and claim that "you can’t live on wings alone," which seems like soft peddling of their signature product), but they have a good reputation and i've somehow missed out on going during trips to Ohio where they are concentrated, so i'm going to give it a go. i'll start with 2 dozen and see where it goes from there. i should probably stick to the Lite beer.
quick competitive eating note: Sonya Thomas was recently deposed as the oyster-eating queen by some guy who managed to put away 53.5 dozen oysters in about 35 minutes. she does still own the "short form" record by downing 46 dozen (that's 552) in just 10 minutes, which can't possibly be human. i remember being at the Acme Oyster House in New Orleans several years ago, and staring astonished at the wall of fame where the leaders had eaten 30-odd dozen. but what progress we've made as a species since then - i can't believe no one has died during one of these contests (i suppose you could count that woman who died of water intoxication, but that seems different).
looking over the IFOCE record page is astonishing, not just for the sheer volume of food consumed, but also for the variety of categories: tiramisu, waffles, matzo balls, grapes, deep-fried okra, cow brains, something called "Horseshoe sandwiches". it almost makes you never want to eat again.