the shrewdness of apes

Jesus would never vote for Bush. courtesy of Woody Guthrie:

Let's have Christ for President.
Let us have him for our King.
Cast your vote for the Carpenter
that you call the Nazarene.

But with the Carpenter on the seat
away up in the capital town
The USA would be on the way prosperity bound!

Posted by Jamie at 12:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Dyker Heights, Brooklyn

Posted by Jamie at 12:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

bibimbop's comment in the previous entry had me frantically searching to make sure Anheuser-Busch hadn't cornered the market on pickle production in this country. fortunately they do not (gullible i know), but the Vlasic website contains this interesting tidbit about the origin of their stork mascot:

1974 was also the year a wisecracking Vlasic Stork flew out of America's television screens with the message that crunchy "Vlasic is the best-tasting pickle I ever heard!"

In any case it worked, and while baby booms have come and gone, the Stork continues to stay with us as the fun Spokesbird of our fun brand.

there's also some Vlasic boxer shorts that went straight onto the Christmas List.

meanwhile, the first result of a Google search for Claussen pickles brings you to David's Pickle Page. not only is David a bit misinformed (he claims that the 3 kinds of pickles are Claussen, cooked and deli), but he's either a liar or lazy. his claim that "I will be upgrading this page regularly" [emphasis his own], is contradicted as the bottom of the page reveals that it was "last updated: 8-19-95". well, i'm sure he'll get his act together for the big 10th anniversary!

meantime, i'm getting all my pickles at Eagle Provisions in Brooklyn, where they make them in house and their fresh kielbasa is outstanding.

Posted by Jamie at 12:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

my year long boycott of Yankee Stadium will end with the season, and even though it cost me a chance to go to Game 6 of the ALCS, it felt worth it to avoid a place that's rarely been enjoyable for me over the years. but now that the Yanks have been vanquished, it's time to move on to something else. fortunately, last night's game gave me the perfect idea for the next boycott.

Budweiser commericals have been prevalent during the baseball playoffs, especially the spot where Joe Buck takes on the "slam-a-lama Ding Dong!" slogan as a way to capitalize on licensing money. pretty funny. then there's the spot where the "spoiled" baseball player lounges in the on deck circle on his cell phone while negotiating for a bigger payday for some promotion or other. he even waves the next batter towards the plate saying that this will "take a while". the ridiculous lampooning of today's crass, cash-motivated athlete is pretty harmless, but during the 8th inning last night, while the game was in progress (pitches were being made!), Fox cut to Chris Myers in the outfield "interviewing" the actor from the spot - as his fake commercial persona - while a troupe of females in "Slam-a-Lama Ding Dong" shirts lurked behind them smiling and waving perkily. totally classless and unacceptable. save that shit for something other than Game 3 of the World Series or at least do it when there's no game action taking place.

since i needed to work up some animosity towards this terribly boring Cardinals team (who's the most colorful player on this team? Julian Tavarez?) and a Fox boycott will most certainly not work, hello Anheuser-Busch boycott! this will be a little bit harder than i thought since it means no Budwesier, Michelob, Busch, Natural Light, Hurricane Malt Liquor, King Cobra Malt Liquor, Bacardi Silver of any kind, Tequiza or RedHook can pass my lips until November 2005. sadly that means i may be forced at some point to drink something made by Coors in the next 12 months [*shudder*] but hopefully this will simply be good news for the Yuengling and Molson companies. i haven't yet decided if this means my retro Bud pint glasses will also head into the closet for the duration.

Posted by Jamie at 01:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (22)

as we get closer to the weekend, let this serve as your reminder to turn your clocks back on Saturday night as we once again take part in the process of Daylight Savings Time. i knew that Benjamin Franklin originated the idea, but didn't know that it had only been sporadically in effect (including through all of WWII) in the U.S. before 1966. i'm sort of torn. on the one hand it seems to be a fairly trivial exercise in these days when fewer than 1% of the population farms. and i really enjoyed this quote:

A writer in 1947 wrote, "I don't really care how time is reckoned so long as there is some agreement about it, but I object to being told that I am saving daylight when my reason tells me that I am doing nothing of the kind. I even object to the implication that I am wasting something valuable if I stay in bed after the sun has risen. As an admirer of moonlight I resent the bossy insistence of those who want to reduce my time for enjoying it. At the back of the Daylight Saving scheme I detect the bony, blue-fingered hand of Puritanism, eager to push people into bed earlier, and get them up earlier, to make them healthy, wealthy and wise in spite of themselves." (Robertson Davies, The Diary of Samuel Marchbanks, 1947, XIX, Sunday.)

but on the other hand, there is evidence that turning the clocks ahead in April leads to energy savings, less crime and fewer traffic accidents. so why don't we just keep Daylight time all year round, thereby preventing the hurtful act of watching the sun go down at 4:30pm in the winter? Congress tried this for a couple years in the early 70s but relented to opposition from farming states in 1975. let's pick a time and stick with it. more arguments against DST here.

Posted by Jamie at 01:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

between the potentially heartbreaking Game 7 scheduled for Sunday and the potentially heartbreaking election scheduled for Tuesday, the mood at t.s.o.a. headquarters in the coming weeks is going to be highly dependent on events outside of our control. the best case scenario is unadulterated glee pushing us right through the holiday season (which has not started yet, i don't care what Ben Affleck says). the worst case scenario has the Fates piling it on with a serious case of Seasonal Affective Disorder lasting until May.

in our favor, mas over at Handwashings was kind enough to send one of the champagne corks from the Sox' ALCS victory celebration which has served as a serious good luck charm thus far.

Posted by Jamie at 04:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

foolish things that have come out of my mouth #82,463:

watching football on Sunday the day after the 19-8 Game 3, i loudly declared "anyone who picked the Red Sox to win this series is a f***ing idiot!"

now comes the real test - beating a team that took Game 7 from the Sox in '46 and '67. i'm gonna err on the side of caution and say that this one is probably going 7 as well - no matter how the first 3 games go.

one last thing from the LCS: i don't want to impugn all Yankee fans, because i know and read many good ones, but if I had to stereotype "typical" Yankee fan behavior, it might be remarkably similar to Amy Blair's confession in this week's Week In Craig.

Posted by Jamie at 03:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

there's nothing i can say that hasn't been expressed already but i'm still getting chills up my spine every 15 minutes or so, so i'm just going to savor this for a few days. all the coverage you could possibly want can be found on the Boston Globe's Sports page.

the hit that sealed it

[UPDATE] since many of you probably won't dig this deep, here's some fun passages from Eric Wilbur's Blog on the Globe site:

The Red Sox capped off the greatest comeback in postseason baseball history, finishing off the Yankees to earn a trip to the World Series.

About half an hour into this celebration, the Yankees turned off the lights at Yankee Stadium. “Typical,” remarked one Sox official.

and then, confirming what Mitch reported in Handwashings the other day (a great read for lots of behind the scenes baseball):

In the second inning last night, there was a rush for the coffee machine by many of the Boston media, already preparing for a late night with the Sox up 6-0. Except, no coffee. No soft drinks either. “Unbelievable,” one media member remarked. “Oh well, we’ll be eating lobster rolls next week anyhow.”

When it comes to pregame grub provided to the media, the Red Sox set out a buffet that includes, among other items, clam chowder, lobster rolls, and jumbo shrimp cocktail. The Yankees, on the other hand, dish out boxed sandwiches, and I think my roast beef from two nights ago was what woke me yesterday morning, still mooing.

Posted by Jamie at 09:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

the crappy picture train rolls on!

Luxx, Williamsburg [R.I.P.]

Posted by Jamie at 11:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

there has been quite a bit of attention paid recently to the New England Patriots and their 20-game winning streak (longest of all-time; their 17 straight regular season wins is also a record), and whether this makes them the greatest team ever, especially given the age of parity in which they play. but across the pond, another team is about to mark an undefeated milestone as Arsenal look to make it 50 straight unbeaten games (by far the longest unbeaten streak in British football history) against Manchester United at Old Trafford this weekend. the managers are already talking smack at each other ahead of that match so it should be a pretty fun one, even if you don't like either team.

this all came together in my mind last night while watching "Fever Pitch" between innings of the baseball game. based on Nick Hornby's book, Colin Firth plays a long-suffering Arsenal fan who finds love during the same season that Arsenal win a stirring victory of the league title with a last second goal against Liverpool (this happened in 1989). he's as outwardly pissy and pessimistic about his team as i am about the Sox, but in the end he's out there dancing with everyone else and he learns that his whole life doesn't have to revolve around his team. i'd like to think that that's a lesson i don't need to learn, but it was a heartening thing to see amidst the chaos of the LCS. it may have even given me a little hope (since 1989, Arsenal have become an almost Yankees-like juggernaut in the Premiership, finishing 1st or 2nd every year since 1998). and then i see today that they're adapting the movie for American audiences, with the main character now being a Red Sox fan (and being played by Jimmy Fallon...ick). that can't be a good sign. but there's no real life triumph for them to use in this movie, at least not yet. maybe they'll have a reason to do some re-writes in a few weeks time.

Posted by Jamie at 03:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Claire is right in her comment from last week that i need to put out the link to the fantastic photos she took of our wedding as well as the great batch taken by Marc. both are to be commended for their keen ability and for the work that went into creating the pages.

but i disagree that i should lay off Marc for not posting my Borrowed Camera photos. the project was his idea, and i waited patiently for my turn with the camera (which was broken by the person who had it before me, though not beyond use), after which i duly submitted my pictures for posting. i even sized them for him to reduce his workload. but he didn't hold up his end of the bargain. i'm grateful to him for the use of his site for this space, but if he didn't want to post my pictures, he shouldn't have given me the camera. here's another shot:

59th Street Bridge

Posted by Jamie at 01:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

a slightly belated birthday to the two Sox fans who got the terrific gift from David Ortiz last night (and technically had the Sox win twice on their birthday). Dad, sorry that you slept through the end of it - i can't promise that tonight is going to turn out as well, but perhaps some rain will rest our pitching enough for just a little more mojo. just getting this thing to 7 games after what happened on Saturday would be a serious moral victory. some general notes:

man the "Moneyball" and Francona haters must have been pissing themsleves last night when the Sox could neither effectively steal a base nor put down a bunt.

memo to Mark Bellhorn: stop swinging at the pitches in on your hands.

i don't know why the Sox didn't have Mirabelli in to catch for Wakefield last night - that was one of those things that should have cost them the game. the lucky things that went their way (like Clark's double in the 9th that went over the wall) were pretty shocking to a hard-core negative cynic like myself.

can Varitek really have much left in the tank after catching 3 consecutive marathon games? Mirabelli's not a bad hitter and decent defensively, it might be worth giving him a start.

there is no part of the Yankee lineup that fails to freak me out. it could be "coming up, Bubba Crosby, John Flaherty and Enrique Wilson" and i'd still be biting my nails waiting for one of them to loft one into the second row.

there could be a lot of New England babies named Curt next year if Schilling manages to come out and dominate.

damn you, Red Sox. damn you for making me care again.

Posted by Jamie at 01:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (24)

the NFL's television policy is a joke. in local markets you can usually only get the games of the home team(s) on Sunday afternoons, and they often refuse to switch to more competitive games when the games they are showing become blowouts. on top of that, they've sold the exclusive rights for the NFL Sunday Ticket package (in which every game is available) to DirecTV, meaning that the vast majority of Americans can't sign up for it. why they do this i'm not sure. it seems to defy all logic because they're intentionally limiting their customer base. personally, i hate DirecTV due to a terrible interface and the lack on On Demand programming and would never order it. but if i lived in Canada and i had digital cable, i could get Direct Ticket for $25 a month. ditto in Mexico, though i can't find the price. so why do the citizens of the U.S. get the shaft?

unfair as that may be, i can always go to a bar or to a friend's house to watch the games each week. but in the US Virgin Islands, there is no place where every game can be seen and they're usually stuck with whatever the local affiliates are showing. so Clay Travis finally decided to do something about it, going on strike to protest and developing nflpuddingstrike.com . here's the pertinent passage of his letter to the commissioner

Recently Edward Browne of the islands pursued a hunger strike in an effort to get the Virgin Islands the right to vote. He took his stand on an empty stomach and I will take mine on pudding. Until the images of every NFL game shine forth on this island, I will eat nothing but pudding.

today is day 33 of this brave struggle, and Mr. Travis has eaten over 230 puddings in that time. make sure you check out the pudding section where you can read his reviews of various pudding flavors which contain great insights like "The primary difference I have discovered between Scooby Doo Chocolate Boo and Chocolate is that the former has more o's." godspeed, pudding man.

big thanks to t.s.o.a. special correspondant Matt for the tip. he's working on a short piece about Mr. Travis for Sunday's Washington Post.

Posted by Jamie at 05:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

more from Open House New York 2003

interior, Soldiers adn Sailors Memorial Arch

Posted by Jamie at 04:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

if i'm on your holiday shopping list (and really, shouldn't i be?), here's the perfect gift idea: the National Beard Registry t-shirt!

it will go perfectly with the Neuticles apron i may soon be wearing. for ordering info, contact me in this space.

Posted by Jamie at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

a well-deserved long weekend has turned into a week full of transience, work-wise, thus the lack of recent posting. i ended up skipping the entirety of the OpenHouse New York stuff for work- and football-related reasons, but i'm glad some folks got out to some of the sites. when i went last year i took a bunch of pictures, numerous of which were supposed to be a part of my effort for the "Borrowed Camera" project. but Marc has had them for almost a year and never bothered to post them - i guess he likes the feet pictures too much - so he's lost his chance as i'm now putting them up here (also check out a couple of Dan's photos from this past weekend, one of which is very similar to the photo below right):

roof, Soldiers and Sailors Memorial Arch (Grand Army Plaza)

Posted by Jamie at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

with the MTA heading into dire fiscal straits despite the recent fare hike, here's a piece of electioneering to remember during the next gubernatorial and mayoral elections here in NYC (from the Daily News):

Because no one has any idea where all that money will come from, the entire transit system is lurching toward a financial crisis. Gov. Pataki and Mayor Bloomberg are the two men most responsible for the MTA's current policy of "borrow now and figure out how to pay for it later." But until now they've somehow managed to escape any blame for this mess. Pataki exercises the most power over the MTA because it is a state agency and he appoints its chairman. Bloomberg is next in influence because he appoints four members of the regional authority's 18-member board. Both men have sharply reduced state and city contributions to the MTA's capital fund, forcing the agency to either borrow money or let the system decay. Under Bloomberg, the city's contribution to the MTA's capital budget dropped to $75 million annually - the lowest in 20 years. As recently as 1986, Albany supplied 20% of the MTA's capital budget. But during Pataki's three terms as governor, those contributions have dropped to almost nothing, according to state Controller Alan Hevesi.

"The MTA's broke," said Gene Russianoff of the Straphangers Campaign.

despite the fact that New York City has the largest mass transit system in the country with 7 million riders a day, we totally get the shaft when it comes to allocation of funds - just like in the allocation of anti-terror funds. the MTA tries to do the right thing (though their accounting procedures leave something to be desired) by investing in capital improvements to keep the system in good shape and running smoothly, but the lack of federal, state and local government funding will leave working class commuters to bear the burden of constant fare increases (the federal government stopped providing funds to NYC Transit in 1998).

this report from 1999 presciently predicted "NYC Transit's fiscal condition could deteriorate significantly over the 2000-2003 period. This would occur if revenues from dedicated taxes fall back to more normal levels and the need to increase service to relieve overcrowding makes further reductions in expenses harder to achieve."

Posted by Jamie at 06:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

here's the body of an e-mail i just sent to Aaron Gleeman in response to his defense of the managing in the 12th inning of last night's Twins/Yankees game:

"I have to disagree that the option of bringing in Romero or Crain was unpalatable. When no one was warming up in the top of the 12th, I thought to myself "Do they really think Nathan can pitch a 3rd inning after already throwing an inning yesterday?" Especially after Nathan threw 8 straight balls, you have to get him out of there. Lose with a fresh pitcher, not one struggling to find the strike zone. And don't forget that Nathan was now going through the order for a second time, so A-Rod, et. al. had already seen him once in the game. Most of the time you don't have that luxury with a reliever.

In all your zeal to point out how Rodriguez and Sheffield kill lefties (Sheff killed righties too), you neglected to point out that Romero was better against righties this year in terms of OPS against while Crain totally shut righties down. So what if he's a rookie? No one seemed to care when K-Rod was a rookie - he just went out and dominated. Crain doesn't have quite as electric stuff, but his stuff might have been good enough to get a K or a DP - Nathan's stuff obviously wasn't at that point and they may have cost themselves the series. When you've got the Yankees down, you can't let them have a breath or they'll bash your head with a shovel. I know the Twins rode Nathan all year and he delivered, but that was too much to ask of him and the Twins may very well pay the price of allowing the Yankees to squeeze out of a choke hold.

Of course, this is all just my opinion, which is colored perceptibly by my Red Sox fandom (full disclosure and all that), but I think Gardy [Ron Gardenhire] may have pulled a Grady."

oh well, at least the Sox managed to pull out another victory for a 2-0 series lead. Pedro managed to look pretty good, and i'm ready to feel confident about him again. the strike zone was tight all night for both sides, so he didn't get all the calls, but most of the hits against him were of the dinky, bloopy variety. the only really hard hit balls were Guerrero's 2-run single and Anderson's line drive double-play in the 6th. but Petey fought through a couple tough at-bats in the 7th and was bringing it in the mid-90s even after 110+ pitches. i fell asleep during the 9th inning, but fortunately nothing untoward happened as Foulke closed it out easily.

***UPDATE*** and not to keep harping on this, but another part of Gleeman's article just struck me:

Instead, the series is tied and there's a very good chance New York will take a 2-1 lead with Carlos Silva getting the call in Game 3 (yet another reason why leaving Nathan in wasn't a bad move, since it's unlikely he'd have gotten a meaningful appearance in Game 3 anyway).

what the hell is is that??? you're planning to lose Game 3? what sort of manager would think like that? i'll answer that - a very bad one. if you don't think the Twins can win Game 3 at home against Kevin Brown (who has been nothing special this year, is recovering from a broken hand and has a bad back), then i have to question your credentials as a Twins fan and a baseball writer. Silva may not pitch very well, but what if the Twins have a 9-8 lead going into the 9th? they'll certainly want to call on Nathan then, and what if he sputters? are those extra 4 batters enough to make a difference in his effectiveness 2 days later? for the Twins sake, i hope they aren't and for your sake i hope you can find a little optimism before Friday. (note: this part of the response not actually sent to Mr. Gleeman)

Posted by Jamie at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

another early morning phone call from my father reveals another startling baseball-related development: my expatriate aunt has become an Angels fan! the proof comes from boston.com's scenes of the game. among a gallery of fan shots, there she is:

now, she's lived in SoCal for a long time so i can understand following the local team, but this is the playoffs and her hat should have a "B" on it, not an "A". and did she get there 2 hours early? the stands behind her are virtually deserted, and she wouldn't be so happy if this were after the end of the game - how very un-LA (area). but how very LA to leave behind the painful masochism of Red Sox fandom for the trendy, monkey-powered life of an Angels fan. i'm half-schocked that she's not wearing a Kabbalah red string around her wrist. well, we'll show her. yesterday's game was un-scintillating and relatively relaxed, but i'm already nervous about tonight. Pedro has about 12 pitches to prove to me he can still get it done.

***UPDATE*** the official word on the hat is that she was supposedly went to the game with "all Angels fans" but was pulling for the Sox. that still sounds a bit fishy as plenty of Red Sox fans (including one in the picture) showed up wearing the proper gear. she was there 2 hours early, though.

Posted by Jamie at 10:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

goodbye Dyker Heights (51 days later)

Posted by Jamie at 01:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

at long last, it finally came to pass. i've been playing fantasy baseball since 1989 in one form or another, often in multiple leagues (including 4 this year), for a grand total of about 28 total teams owned. throw in some terrible fantasy football and basketball teams, and that's over 30 "seasons" without a winner. while not quite Cubs-ian in its futility, that streak still speaks poorly of my skills as an owner/general manager and has left me wondering from time to time whether perhaps i had some cognitive defect that was preventing me from winning. but as of this morning the history is meaningless, the heartbreak of last season can be forgotten and i can finally be called a champion. and it wasn't terribly close as i moved into 1st place during August and my lead kept growing all during September.

was i drinking from the same flagon of mojo that will propel the Red Sox to their first title in 86 years? i can't quite execute such a huge leap of faith (not to mention circumlocution of logic), but if it happens, i might have to quesiton the forces at play in the unvierse.

Posted by Jamie at 11:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)