dead letter office #8
a blast from the past courtesy of some recent cleaning. i don't remember what official duties Mr. and Mrs. Madison may have had, but I'm sure they were largely ceremonial. they weren't brokering any peace talks with UVA. at any rate, one day a guy in a dinosaur costume showed up and started handing out fliers. below is the transcript of each side (there was some random clip art and words like "digital orgasm" on it too, but i didn't bother to scan it).
“I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family!”
That may be the motto of my dear brother, Barney the Dinosaur, but my motto deals with a much different type of luuuuvv and reveals why they call me BUMPO The Dinosaur:
“I Love you, you love me, Now let’s Both get what we need!!”
Yep, that’s right, me and all of my 14 inches of pre-historic love know exactly what you need, and I’m more than willing to give it to ya. You may be asking “Yeah, sure, you talk a good game Bumpo, but can I believe it?” Honey, lemme just say this, had I been around 10,000 years ago instead of my poor ancestors, there would have never been and Ice-Age because things would have been SO HOT!! They don’t call me Bumpo for nothing!
Even though my reputation is known far and wide in the civilized world, unfortunately, it hasn’t reached this part of the country yet. That’s why I’m not on the ballot for Mr. Madison. Help rekindle those JMU flames of passion that went out so long ago. Don’t vote for some wet sock. WRITE IN BUMPO AND CHRIS FOR MR. AND MRS. MADISON RIGHT NOW!!!!
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My name is Chris and these people want you to vote for me as Ms. Madison, but I am not on the ballot. I am fairly qualified. But I am in class. So call 433-XXXX. Please elect me as your Ms. Madison by joining our write in campaign.
alas, bumpo and chris were defeated and forced to return to their unassuming lives as film projectionists and radio djs. i'm sure chris pulled a fair number of prank calls for her trouble.
Comments
Bumpo? What the hell?
Posted by: Dan | February 19, 2004 10:58 AM
yeah, i thought that was a little odd.
Posted by: jamie | February 19, 2004 11:38 AM