dead letter office #5
by popular demand, our skit writer returns for another educational tour de force. (for an explanation of where these come from click here):
Lead Poisoning Skit
ACT I
Pb: Hi, how are you? What’s your name?
Baby: My name is Baby. What’s yours?
Pb: I’m Lead a.k.a. Pb.
Baby: Where are you from? Where do you live?
Pb: Well, I live all over the place. I try to get around you know!
Baby: So where do you live? What do you mean everywhere?
Pb: Like for example, I really like to live in dirt, not sand too much but I
really like dirt.
Baby: In dirt?!
Pb: Yeah man, dirt is the best, but I also like to live in paint, but for
some reason people don’t want me to live in paint.
Baby: Oh, so you’re That Lead. I heard about you! My mother told me about you. She said I should stay away from you.
Pb: Why did she say that?
Baby: Well she said that you’re not good for my health. She said that you could be causing me problems and I could not know about it and that makes you dangerous.
Pb: Well that’s true but....
Baby: That’s why I don’t chip paint off the wall, and I don’t eat it. My mother cleans the house really good because you could be in the dust....and come to think of it you really do live everywhere! You really are all over the place, Wow.
ACT II
[Baby goes to drink water from the faucet. He turns on the water.]
Pb: What up Baby? How you been?
Baby: Oh my God, you scared me! What are you doing in the water?
Pb: Well I told you I live everywhere!
Baby: But in the water too?
Pb: Well really I live in the pipes, but every so often I get into the water.
Baby: So that means that you also get into my body if I drink the water, right?!
Pb: Yup, once you drink the water, I stay in your body for a while and then I get into your bones, and nobody can tell.
Baby: What if I told my Mom, then she would know!
Pb: She wouldn’t really know until she took you to the doctor and had your blood tested.
Baby: Are you serious, they’d have to take my blood?
Pb: YUP!
Baby: Well, I’m not afraid of needles so it’s okay. Pb do you know that you got one of my friends sick?
Pb: Really, which one? What happened to him?
Baby: Well it’s a girl, Maria and weren’t in the water but in the window. She was always tired, she would get upset for no reason and she lost a lot of weight and she couldn’t sleep or go to the bathroon.
Pb: Yeah, that was me, I do all of those things. I can’t deny it!
Baby: You’re so mean, Maria is okay but her mother takes her to the doctor a lot and she wishes she didn’t have to go. Where are you going now? You better stay away because I don’t want to get sick.
[END]
i love that lead is referred to by its chemical symbol and that we get some more backstory on the whole Maria situation. but i think the real surprise for me was at the beginning of ACT II when we find out that Baby is a boy. does that mean this is supposed to be an actual infant? or a more mature male named "Baby"?
Comments
It's me, aka Tha #1 Stunna! You know me from the annoying rap song with the pigeon sounds in the chrous, and now I'm crossing over into stagewriting!
Posted by: David | January 28, 2004 03:22 PM
oooh, Pb is so bad....i think i got a crush on him.
Posted by: crispin | January 29, 2004 03:22 PM