October 27, 2004
how dry i am
my year long boycott of Yankee Stadium will end with the season, and even though it cost me a chance to go to Game 6 of the ALCS, it felt worth it to avoid a place that's rarely been enjoyable for me over the years. but now that the Yanks have been vanquished, it's time to move on to something else. fortunately, last night's game gave me the perfect idea for the next boycott.
Budweiser commericals have been prevalent during the baseball playoffs, especially the spot where Joe Buck takes on the "slam-a-lama Ding Dong!" slogan as a way to capitalize on licensing money. pretty funny. then there's the spot where the "spoiled" baseball player lounges in the on deck circle on his cell phone while negotiating for a bigger payday for some promotion or other. he even waves the next batter towards the plate saying that this will "take a while". the ridiculous lampooning of today's crass, cash-motivated athlete is pretty harmless, but during the 8th inning last night, while the game was in progress (pitches were being made!), Fox cut to Chris Myers in the outfield "interviewing" the actor from the spot - as his fake commercial persona - while a troupe of females in "Slam-a-Lama Ding Dong" shirts lurked behind them smiling and waving perkily. totally classless and unacceptable. save that shit for something other than Game 3 of the World Series or at least do it when there's no game action taking place.
since i needed to work up some animosity towards this terribly boring Cardinals team (who's the most colorful player on this team? Julian Tavarez?) and a Fox boycott will most certainly not work, hello Anheuser-Busch boycott! this will be a little bit harder than i thought since it means no Budwesier, Michelob, Busch, Natural Light, Hurricane Malt Liquor, King Cobra Malt Liquor, Bacardi Silver of any kind, Tequiza or RedHook can pass my lips until November 2005. sadly that means i may be forced at some point to drink something made by Coors in the next 12 months [*shudder*] but hopefully this will simply be good news for the Yuengling and Molson companies. i haven't yet decided if this means my retro Bud pint glasses will also head into the closet for the duration.
Posted by jamie at October 27, 2004 01:56 PM
I too stayed away from the Yankee Stadium this year and feel I am a better man for it. I'd like to join you on your new boycott, but no Hurricane? Simply not possible.
This STL team IS boring--what happened to them? Speaking of Tavarez, I spend most of the game trying to figure out if he is uglier than Miguel Cairo.
Yes, JT is uglier.
I thought that Anheuser-Busch didn't own the Cardinals anymore. ? Either way, that cheap, tawdry Leon promotion pissed me off too. I was yelling at the TV. I blame Fox though. It has to be their marketing execs who come up with shit like that in a crass ploy for as much $ as possible. Not to mention--also annoyed as hell by their practice of having their TV and film stars in the stands to plug their shows or upcoming releases, which they do every year. Seeing Tom Hanks over and over again was unbearable the other night. And the cast of That 70s Show all looked bored as shit. These people are preventing actual fans from being at the game. Hey MAS, is there some clause MLB can invoke to force Fox to stop all that disgusting commercialism while the game is going on? Or maybe they can just give the baseball playoffs to another network one of these years...when is Fox's contract up anyway?
Yeah, if it wasn't during game action, it probably doesn't bother me, but during live action was beyond ridiculous.
Also, did anyone notice how they panned through the fans above the Monstah and showed Hanks and Fallon prior to the interview, but Fallon was all Euro-trashed out, and somewhat foppish, with those glasses and a black scarf ever so delicately wrapped around his neck. Then during the interview later, the (cashmere, probably) scarf is gone and his hair is all messed up and into goofy SNL guy mode. What a phony
Dave, maybe just cut back to 1 case of Hurricane per week.
Jim - you're right that A-B does not own the Cardinals, but the 3 owners are a lawyer, an investment banker and a former bank president so there's nothing there i could boycott. plus they still play in Busch Stadium. but you're right that Fox probably had a large role in that as they are total whores when it comes to shameless promotion. their broadcast contract with MLB lasts through 2006. and MLB isn't about to do a damn thing about the commercialism. remember the Spiderman-2-logo-on-the-bases fiasco from this summer?
Oh yeah, I had forgotten about Spiderman.
Fox is the king of corporate whoring, but all sports broadcasting is so overloaded with corporate sponsorship that it's not enough for me to get my rage on. The Budweiser Hot Seat, anyone?
I'd say the Web MD promos came closest to inducing my rage--the graphic about Schilling's ankle that highlighted his whole leg, rather than just the ankle, and provided no more information except for where to learn more about Web MD. But mostly I laughed at it. It was the Congo of cross-promotional ties in.
Boycotting Bud's not a bad move, though. Why not? Just stay away from Coors. And drink more whiskey.
Not only is the St Louis team boring, so are the fans. A perfectly normal and nondescript bunch. What makes Tavarez so colorful anyway? Is it his barely concealed SuperRage? The way he pouts like a baby? Or is it the manly way he attacked the wall of the dugout during game 1?
I have a theory about Yankee stadium and it goes a little like this, I applaud your boycotts , each and every one of you but personally I would rather be there keeping an eye on things. I would rather take my chances with the whole unpleasantness than miss out. I also beleive that the Yankees should be abused at every available opportunity and I 'm keen to do that as much as possible. However I am new to the game and the culture that surrounds it so I'll try and appreciate your reasons for any boycott. I went to game six in spite of two baseball fans who were indulged in boycott situations (and as for abusing the Yankees I kept my bleedin mouth shut as the Redsox leveled the series!) The next time I see either of them I'll buy them drinks (though i guess it wont be Bud).
I wholeheartedly endorse your boycott of Anheuser Busch.
>but the 3 owners are a lawyer, an investment banker and a former bank president
Jamie, I say that you start boycotting following the law and also you can boycott those worthless fucks at the bank! Pretend it is 1930 and keep your money underneath the mattress.
And while I agree the shameless plugging of shitty Fox shows by placing the actors in the stands is annoying, it is highly amusing to see old games on ESPN Classic and be reminded of some dumb show that you hadn't thought of since 1996, but Fox is there to remind us forever and forever.
Showing Jimmy Fallon making out with that girl (who was that, am I supposed to know?) on the field during a cutaway from the TEAM just sapped some of the joy out of this moment for me. Just a little though. So that was for the movie, right? Is that the point to him being there, this is all footage for the movie? You have to admit that's weird, that they plan to do this movie and the Red Sox just sweep through the last 6 games and clinch the title. Fox probably rigged the whole playoffs just to fit the story line. Anyway, just kidding about that part, they are so awesome. Love you Manny! Love you Johnny! Love you David! And I even love you and your ugly blond cornrows, Aroyo or however you spell it.
Yay! Yay! Yay!
The champagne celebration is out of control. Someone is going to get an eye poked out. And why is it that Ortiz is ALWAYS trying to jump on top of the huddle? I've seen him three times in the post season take a running start and try really hard to throw himself on the pile, never quite making it. David, you're going to hurt someone or yourself.
I meant 8 games, not 6.
OK, the credts are rolling on Fox (gotta love all the montages they do), time to go to bed, so tired. Wish something had been going on tonight for the game so I could see another aSox fan but I'm happy enough writing here and it's for the best, I was out drinking until late last night. So yay to all you fans!! Yay to believing!!
I once hit someone in the eye with a champagne cork, It was at a terribly lovely party in England and all the gals were wearing lovely summer dresses and it was like before Hitler had Invaded anything or the Wall street crash and i was really trying to behave. Then I opened a bottle and some girl got a bloody eye. Then i left.
i'm going to give up hookers and blow.
I can't believe that I didn't think about this before. Jamie, I've thought of the perfect thing for you to boycott! Boycott the time change! Who needs it? You made a great case for it being useless. Stick by your guns and ignore it! That is a fight I can get behind. Do you need me to sign a petition or anything, make some phone calls?
I'm pretty sure A-B also owns a bunch of good snack food companies in addition to the beers - could make it tougher if you decide to go through with it.
As for FOX, I couldn't agree more - they suck. Aside from developing the constant score-on-screen graphics (they started it when they first got football), their "innovations" have really just been annoying gimmicks - like glowing pucks and awful sound effects. We were on the FOX charter from Boston to St. Louis and some co-workers and I were wondering if there would be sound effects during all of the on-board announcements. "Please stow your tray tables. Creak. Click. Click."
I guess this means I was even luckier to be at the games - I didn't watch the broadcasts. The only playoff game I watched in its entirety was NLCS Game 7, and damn if I didn't have that awful Dodge Durango theme song in my head all night afterwards when trying to fall asleep. Their commercialism is almost worse than MLB's - at the stadium, the temporary set for the pre-game show didn't even have any FOX logos - just Dodge. Awful.
I didn't see Tom Hanks but as for Jimmy Fallon, he was on the field after the game, apparently filming a movie about being a big Red Sox fan. I'm sure it will be as much of a laugh riot as "Taxi" looks to be.
Yeah, Access Hollywood just showed a clip and it was Drew Barrymore Jimmy was kissing. Drew, don't do that crappy movie! You already DID a movie where you have a kiss on a baseball field--"Never Been Kissed" was so kickass! Back out now!
Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore should be shot, and so should whoever decided they should be allowed on the field for that stupid kiss. That came close to ruining what otherwise was a classic scene of spontaneous, well-earned joy and exhilaration. I'm mad that they showed it happening. It really sullied the moment for me.
re : Fallon & Barrymore.
any chance that this not-so-spontaneous kiss was part of a reshot ending for the US film version of "Fever Pitch"?
actually, Anheuser-Busch does not own any snack food companies. they started their "Eagle Brand" snack company in the early 80s but later sold it off to Proctor & Gamble, so i'm in the clear there.
Dan - if i boycotted the time change, i'd be an hour late to everything from April until October, and i have a wife who probably wouldn't be terribly supportive of that.
and as for "Fever Pitch" and Fallon, et. al. - now *there's* something to boycott. i can't believe there's going to be a movie about Red Sox fandom and i'm not even going to want to be in the same zip code as a theater that's showing it.
jamie, i read that A-B owns vlasic, b&g and classen. and they have a minority share in Guss'. you're in trouble.
p.s. apes is the 4th google result when you type in half-sours!