the shrewdness of apes

dead letter office #1

so i finally got around to re-updating the style sheet here, so everything more or less looks like the way i originally set it up.   things will definitely be gathering steam after the new year.

at any rate, this will be the first in a series of found items to be posted in this space.   since i am the (very underpaid) IT department in the office, i have the run of the file server.   this can have practical applications like finding files that list everyone's salaries, and it can also lead to tragicomic gold like this piece i found recently while cleaning up some old folders.   all names have been changed as necessary, and some formatting changes were made* but other than that i've left the writing alone.

"Donald:

I can’t believe you – you send me a letter to go fuck myself you have some nerve.   I’m just so upset with you I don’t know what to say or don’t even feel like talking to you anymore.   You can’t make a simple decision your friends or your wife and daughter.   You hesitate giving me an answer I have nothing but been there for you all these years and you keep shitting on me how dare you.

I love you – am I have more then proven myself in every way of our marriage – all you know how to be is mean and I feel very sorry for.

You’re the type of person that only remembers someone only when you need them otherwise you can do without them.   Marriage is not about that it’s about loving that person to the end, caring, being understanding and no secrets behind each other backs.

I’ve love you actually all my life – but you insist of letting other people get in between our relationship.   I’ve been second best to everything in your life.   The bars, women, alcohol, pot, staying out for days, your friends, cars.   Even your fucking job.

I’m sending copies of all your letters you wrote me.   All you know how to do is lie and break your promises – make excuses for the bad things and blame me for everything.

You tell me you’re going to hit me if you were next to me.   You need counseling – yes you do.   Now you can read your letter how you told me if it will take the rest of my life I’m going to make everything up to you.   I’ve been there, I’ve kept my word as much as I could.   But you need help - I will not go back to the same shit that upset in the past you need to look into to head and soul really deep.   And finally without playing me – tell me what you want from me.   I really have to know.   No bullshitting if you’re unhappy being married tell me don’t lead me on with promises of how wonderful things are gonna be and how good you’ll be to me when you come home.

I getting tired of your insane games.   My heart aches every day and you’re not even being fair to God – he has to listen to my tears and I’m sure there’s a lot of people who need his help.

I have so much in my heart, my head and my soul.   But I’m tired explaining myself to a grown man that doesn’t want to do anything with his life except hang out all his life.

I want a man that wants to be there and want and love his family.   I want a husband that loves, faithful, I trust, hardworking, caring, romantic, great in bed, sensitive, respectful, a good father, someone who thinks I’m his everything.

That he doesn’t need anyone because I’m his strength.   Just like he should be mine.   My partner, my friend, and my lover, my protector.

I thought when you started doing this time we were going to make it – now I’m confused and with the things you’ve said already.   Maybe I won’t be strong enough to make – because I’m not going to work, raise my family, get stuck in the woods to listen to ungrateful man on the phone.

These are my feelings so they are not bullshit."

* for some reason the original file was in Excel which, as you may know, isn't designed for writing.   so it took a bit of effort to get it into a usable state.   it was also in all caps, which is highly annoying because there's not a simple command to rectify it.

Posted by jamie at December 23, 2003 05:53 PM